I forgive you

I think I have finally come to terms with it

I forgive you

I cannot hold a grudge towards you any longer

I think it hurt so bad because you were like family and maybe that's my fault... I go to the extreme when it comes to friends... they are either my best friend or we are an acquaintance. This is something that I have been working on and understanding that everyone plays a role in my life. Some are meant to stay forever and some are only meant to be with us for a short period of time. I always wonder why that is and that is so hard for me to cope with. I think stems from me not liking the bad times and holding on so tight to the good.

As I get older I realize that we have to go through the bad to be ready for the good... so we appreciate the good... and so we can become better humans as life goes on. And it is okay to hurt... it is okay to feel that pain and sit in the sadness but its about what you do with that situation that makes you... you.

We have to be able to move on from the hurt and move on from the sadness to become who are meant to be. These are all lessons and tests to see how we do... test us on how we want to live our lives... show us what we want and what we don't want...

So again, I forgive you and I wanted to say thank you...

Thank you for teaching what I don't want in a friendship... I think I got a little lost in the material things and "cool statuses" and went down a rabbit hole. But it doesn't make it right, it was messed up what you did and maybe God knew that I could take it until I couldn't anymore. YOU got lucky, I was strong enough to take the pain and you weren't.

Again, I forgive you... I don't want to hold this grudge on you any longer.

I forgive you for overstepping every boundary that I put into place, I forgive you for overstepping boundaries that shouldn't have to told. I forgive you for pushing me away as a friend. I forgive you for cutting me out of your friend group. I forgive you for the hateful comments. I forgive you for yelling at me when I did nothing wrong. I forgive you for ambushing me when I had no one. I forgive you for making me feel as if I could not leave my room.

You were hurting inside and you thought it was okay to take it out on me...

Isn't that how it always starts... one person is hurting and the next person gets hurt. It affects everyone around us and it affects us internally.

That little girl inside that just wanted to move and get a fresh new start was someone's punching bag...

Make sure you check on yourself before you check on other people

A human can only take some much and if you are always checking on other people, when do you check on YOU.

You knew how I was and how much I could take but you did not care. You were in it for yourself and you lost sight of who were your real friends. It makes me sad to think that you were going through so much pain and I wish I could have helped you more. But one cannot continue to grow in an environment that hurt them in the first place. So I hope you heal and I hope you grow...

I am sorry we couldn't work things out..

One day we might be friends again but until then...

I hope you don't hurt anyone else...

with love,

a stranger again