Journal entry #9

August 1st

It is starting to feel as if change is coming

I had a lot of anxiety this morning and my parent was upset that I kept saying "like"...

Is it actually bad to say or is it something we all "made up" in speech class

I can feel my chest tighten when I start to feel out of control of my own life

It is starting to feel scary but I am hoping this is something that we all need

Ill let you know how the rest of my month goes...

It is august 1st and my birthday is coming up

After you turn 21, every birthday after that seems; sad and scary

I am trying to change that but there is so much pressure to be this or be that when we are only in our 20s and have so much time

We do not need to be rushing our lives away to make money that is fake and work jobs that crush every good part of us

I am on a journey to keep my soul intacked and keep it alive

My soul is beautiful and I cannot wait to show more people how great it really is

August 8th

I can feel a shift in my life

A big change is about to happen which normally comes every 4 years but it has only been 2

I hope I adapt well to this one

I have been managing my anxiety better but it still isnt back to how it used to be

August 25th

Things have been better recently

I think my luck is finally turning around.

I went down a rabbit hole of saying why me and why now

But pain is only temporary and the universe always has your back

I manifested and prayed for days on end

I think I am more opened to things outside of my comfort zone

"Lean into fear" as they say...

December 18th

It has been a minute but I think that means that things have gotten better

You filmed and photographered your first and second wedding ever...

It was great but you are not sure that it what you want to do with your time anymore

Maybe you will try it a few more times and see how it goes but right now you are leaning towards short films and fashion photography

I love being someones stylist... it would be great to do this fulltime and I think that this is something that could be a real career for me and last a long time... the career would age well because fashion never dies and there is always something cooler ot create.

I love it!

The year is almost over and I am so excited to start a new year... I love new beginnings...

I have learned that sitting with my feelings is better than running from them...

I have learned that no matter how far I run I will always be this person...

I have learned that friends come and go but my chosen family is here to stay...

I have learned not to worry about everyone else so much and I have to learned to take care of myself again...

I have learned that those that want to stay in your life will if they really want to...

I have learned that you have to move away from where you grew up for at least a little but to grow as a person...

I have learned that no one is concerned about you as much as you are because everyone has their own sh*t going on...

So just be yourself.... eff the people that are judging you because most likely they are more unhappy than they show and do whatever you want as if no one was watching... BECAUSE LIFE IS LONG BUT COULD BE SHORTENED IN A SPLIT SECOND...

MAKE ART NOT WAR AND GIVE LOVE... there is no room for hate

so years to a great 2023...