Everyday Junglist
Bio
Practicing mage of the natural sciences (Ph.D. micro/mol bio), Thought middle manager, Everyday Junglist, Boulderer, Cat lover, No tie shoelace user, Humorist, Argan oil aficionado. Occasional LinkedIn & Facebook user
Stories (562/0)
The Sunsetting Lies of Morning People
The Dawning Truth about Night Owls - Why staying up late is linked to health problemselemental.medium.com During his time in the Oval Office, Barack Obama was a self-proclaimed “night guy” who tended to stay up well past midnight despite his early morning duties. His predecessor, George W. Bush, was usually in bed by 10 and often started his workday well before seven a.m., a habit most normal people find unbelievably annoying.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Confessions
Why I Will Never Make Any Money Writing
Yep, I suck at writing If you are anything like me (trust me, you are not), then you suck at writing. That said, just because you suck at something doesn’t mean you can’t make shit tons of cash by doing it. Look at this very website. There are a few truly great writers who regularly contribute, some pretty darn good ones, a few more OK ones, a shit ton of average or below average ones, and the remaining who probably make up just over 51% of the writing population here, the terrible, horrible, downright craptastic ones. Oh, and then there’s me. I will leave it to the reader to decide where I fit in on that sliding scale of trainwreckage, but that is really beside the point. The point is that there are a boatload of writers in that 51% who are making gobs and gobs of cash by writing. Yep, you read that correctly, you don’t have to be one of the greats, or average, or any good at all, to fulfill your dreams of endless bags of cocaine and supermodel blowjobs by the gross, through writing. Female dreams and your own dreams may differ slightly from mine of course.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Journal
- Top Story - July 2021
It Is a Golden Age for People Who Cannot Tie Their Own ShoelacesTop Story - July 2021
Author’s note: This article was originally published almost two years ago now and did not get nearly the attention it deserved. I am republishing it again today as a service to the shoelace tying ignorant and/or lazy public who no doubt make up a large portion of my readership. Enjoy!
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Styled
Another Technology Failure
How do they continue to get away with this? I just don’t understand how they do it. Somehow technology companies that deliver crappy, buggy, almost unusable technology, in this case software, continue to get a free pass even as they fail to deliver over and over and over again. Exhibit G a large work event I was involved in yesterday evening that almost turned into an unmitigated disaster due to the buggiest, crappiest, wonkiest “program” I have yet seen in my career, Microsoft Teams. If you thought Skype was terrible, you were correct, but Teams can make it look like modern miracle of software design in comparison. The details of the event don’t really matter, and yes it was somewhat complicated in the sense that their was a “live” portion and a “virtual” portion. The idea was we would toggle between the two in order to hand out a number of award to various persons who were not able, or did not want to take the risk, to travel to the live event for obvious reasons. But really, at base it wasn’t all that different from a very large meeting, the type of virtual event, programs like MS Teams are thought to be well suited to handle. Thought to be is the key phrase, because just like every other virtual event I have been involved in this year there were problems from the very beginning and they continued through until the very end. We managed to muddle through, and eventually, the deserving winners all got their awards, but it was pretty ugly. My opening remarks and entire presentation were basically ruined as the timing and rhythm of all my key presentation animations were lost in the chaos of trying to get Teams to display the Powerpoint while also displaying the event. Handing out the awards was even worse and required two people at the podium, to manage the various toggling of windows required to read and see the presentation material and to toggle to the awardees at home. I don’t think it worked right once.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in 01
Algorithms Cannot Learn.
Can we please stop with this algorithms learn garbage? It was bad enough when only machines could learn (they cannot), but to suggest an algorithm can learn is an even more egregious crime against logic and language. Math and statistics, formerly only considered subjects to study, and useful tools to be used in a variety of applications (including the creation of algorithms), are now fully autonomous learning subjects themselves! Wow! Does Grammar learn too? What about Social Studies? Is it also a learning subject? I sure hope French doesn’t learn how to learn, I mean Sacre Bleu, right? Oh wait, but it is the advanced nature of, and the way we combine the various mathematical and statistical treatments that we apply to the input data that allows the algorithm to transcend its previous status as a lowly ‘normal’ algorithm and become an exalted “learning” algorithm. That is some seriously magical math and statistics. Where can I get me some of that magic math. Math and stats with actual life giving properties. We have a new contender for man’s universal yearning for a creator story. It was not God or random chance, it was in fact, magic math that birthed us all. Magic math and the magical box, the computer/machine. It is all a very neat little creation story perfectly fit for a simulationist.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Futurism
The Art of Box-Making
Author's Preface: I was surprised last Friday by the arrival of a mysterious box at my doorstep. It was not wrapped, and had no evident return address. Clearly it had not been delivered by mail but rather dropped off by someone or something. Review of my home security footage revealed that it had been left by a drone of unknown origin. It was a rather plain box and when opened revealed nothing inside. The only clue as to its origins or purpose lay in a faint inscription barely visible on its base. It read "I do not make boxes I construct containers for the universe" - Chin sang Wu.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Fiction
Please Don’t Call Your Jobs (Or Side Jobs) Hustles
If I may put on my grumpy old man hat for a moment we need to have a talk. I appreciate the ever evolving nature of our language as much as anyone. In fact I have written frequently about language including not one but two articles specifically on the topic of precision in language, and why it is so important. In those articles I go out of my way to note that language is not some static affair and that meanings of words do shift and change with time. I understand that the word hustle has somewhat recently come to be applied to just about anything someone does to make money. On the one hand I can appreciate the association of the word with work. It suggest an aggressive attitude, a let’s get it done quickly approach, etc. On the other hand it brings a lot of negative baggage along for the ride. First, it suggests a lack of seriousness about whatever endeavor it is being applied to describe. A hustle is more like a hobby that makes money then a job. Thus, like a hobby, one’s dedication to it might change in intensity over time. It is transient or temporary. As an example, just like collecting baseball cards used to be your passionate hobby, writing is your hobby now, but who knows what it might be next week? Why would I want to pay someone money if that is the attitude they take toward the job I am paying them to do? Even if writing really is a hobby for you, and you don’t really take it all that seriously, yet you have the temerity to expect people to pay you for it, why rub it in their face? A great question I surely would have no idea about.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Journal
I Dewormed Myself Yesterday
Author's preface and waring: This is from a little over two years ago and contains some rather gross and yucky stuff. Consider yourself forewarned if you decide to read on. To the unlucky censors (sorry moderators) who have the pleasure of reviewing this article know that the "graphic material" included is scientifically accurate and important to the story.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Longevity
Vegetable Growers, Doctors Linked in Decades Long Conspiracy to Promote Health Aspects of Vegetables
Vegetable growers and doctors have been linked in a conspiracy said to stretch back fifty years or more in which members of the American Medical Association (AMA) traded favorable studies of the health aspects of vegetables for cash payments, lavish vacations, high end prostitutes and other bribes from vegetable farmers associated with the Vegetable Growers Association of America (VGAA). The doctors also agreed to consul their patients that they and their children should eat as much vegetables as they could stomach while downplaying the lack of flavor, terrible texture, and overall grossness of the food as a “necessary evil.” Dr. Ray Johnson, a pediatrician that has agreed to turn states evidence and helped blow the case wide open said “we told our patients who trusted us that they and their kids should be choking down food they both hated because of the supposed health benefits. Meanwhile we sat around the table with our own families eating meals totally free of putrid smelling broccoli or flavorless mushy zucchini.” He justified his own participation in the conspiracy by saying “When this first started we (doctors) all thought what’s the harm really. I mean it’s not like vegetables are bad for you. They just aren’t all that much better for you than anything else, and let’s be honest, vegetables are gross. They smell funny, look funny, and by and large have little to no flavor. How else were we gonna get people to eat this stuff?”
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Fiction
On “Dumbing Down” Your Writing to Appeal to the “Average” Reader
There seems to be some consensus, at least on across the blogosphere, that in order to appeal to the so called “average reader” and maximize readership it is necessary to “dumb down” one’s writings. In the past I have come down very hard against this idea. In particular I take issue with the idea of grade level writing, or trying to keep one’s style and grammar and vocabulary choices at or below a certain arbitrary grade level, sixth and eighth grade seem to be the most common options. The idea being that people are generally not all that smart, not that patient, and will quickly click away from anything that challenges their intellect or in which they encounter unusual words they are not familiar with. Basically anything that makes them to think too much or forces them to come to terms with their own ignorance. Recently a writing colleague on a different site responded to my insistence that I would never dumb down my writing by asking a very simple question, would it hurt to do so? She went on to explain that as a non native speaker of English it is even more difficult for her than for most to keep up with “higher level” writing and she lamented that it was very frustrating having to constantly “go up and get a dictionary” to look up words that she did not know. I will admit the non native speaker was not the stereotype of the person I had in my head when imagining these so called ordinary joe’s and jane’s, and her points had some validity. They certainly forced me to stop and think about my position, and ultimately caused me to write this piece. For that I am eminently thankful to her and her question.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Journal