On a daily basis, we must interact with other individuals; and whether they know it or not, there is a sort of judgment that everyone can catch a whiff of. Opinions are simply that, an opinion. They are not the facts, they are not what defines us, and yet other people's’ opinions seem to define how we dress, how we act, and how we interact with our peers. But why?
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship has had to spend time apart at some point. With long distance relationships, that time is simply longer; it makes things harder. There is no simple way to fix the strain that a long distance relationship can put on a relationship, whether it be new or even years old. For some, the saying is true, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” however, there are others who end up relating more to “Out of sight, out of mind.” I can say, without a doubt, I am one of the aforementioned individuals. I am a big ol’ sappy mess when I love, but that is not without great cause. I love my partner. When we’re together everything is bliss. Time stops, and the short amounts we get to spend together make my heart swell. It hasn’t been long, but long enough, we’ve been playing this game, never truly defining the relationship until recently, due to us being in different states due to education.
I feel as though I am drowning, not in the sea but in myself. And yet it is not even truly me, it is the black sea of depression and I know others are near. I just can’t see them… and it hurts to know that others are near but to still feel completely isolated because I cannot reach them. I wake up and the pain immediately washes over me once again; it hurts so bad and I cannot find the right words to calm my mother’s nerves as I descend deeper into myself. I walk to class, tripping upon my own feet, almost falling with every anxious step. I wish I was falling, in reality not metaphorically, off of a cliff or into the traffic that never seems to stop. I do not want to want to die but I do not believe I have the will or the want of existence anymore. Depression, however, is not a valid excuse to miss my obligations, the reason will not hold up in an academic court or any for that matter unless, of course, insanity is pled. So I stay silent as I drown because I don’t think that there is hope for me any longer… I will feel like this forever.
Well, it has been many years, five decades in fact, since the Zodiac Killer last struck, it is still a great mystery as to who he truly was. There have been many shows and movies that reference the killings, most recently, American Horror Story claiming the killings were done by women.
I remember that day all too well