Antoinette L Brey
Bio
I am an elder in a time of freedom. I am now retired. All i want to do is have fun. Without a daily routine, my imagination is one of my only salvations. I am not planning on writing a book, it is just for my own pleasure
Stories (233/0)
The Shrink
The shrieking of the wind outside the windows echoes my mood. The whole back edge of the room is lined with windows. They absorb my glaze. My eyes watch the shaking of the branches as they strike against the window panes. My mind crashes with every slash, slosh, clash of rain and wood on the windowpane. I grit my teeth. I tell myself that, I am a professional. I must fight this inner battle. The outer storm will never reach me. I fight the urge to hide my head in my hands and cry. Instead, I count to ten and hold my head up high. I silently recite the familiar phrase in my head. “ High high high, let stress die”. My nails dig into my hand. Finally, my thoughts shift from the flower curtains to the situation of hand.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Fiction
Boarding School
Its all my fault” Anna screamed across the crowded dorm floor. Susan gasped, and froze like a statue, as the dorm mother went to escort Anna out of the main corridor. Anna was led into the dorm mother ‘s living quarters. It was furnished nicely, a real apartment. Anna had often wondered what it looked like. She saw the empty bottles of alcohol that the chosen students had been invited in to drink. Different rules for different folks. Anna was hoping that she would get suspended or even expelled, but first she had to find out what crime she had committed. She did not have to wait long.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Fiction
Chemical imbalance
She cheerfully headed towards the restaurant. She was just about to enter when she felt a haze over her head and saw herself lead to sitting as a bag woman on the side of the street. Her anger started to flair. she was not giving up her dream for her future. She fought against the force and entered the restaurant. She sat down at the booth and cried. The force that had seemed to invade her was gone. She wondered for a moment about the advice she had given other people. That force had been trying to control her body movements. Maybe the voices in that lady's head were not just her internal thoughts. Maybe it was not just as easy, as lessening her dependence on the voices, having her make other friends, and improving the quality of her life, giving her more control over it.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Humans
My Dreams
"You'll never be content, he said. In my mind I thought he was telling me that I did not have the ability to improve my life, so I should just accept my life the way it was now. This is the United States I thought, as long as you can walk and think there are opportunities to improve one's life. I didn't know how to rebut, he was still talking, as usual, my opinion really didn't matter. If we were not in agreement it was always my fault. There was obviously something I did not understand. But what I understood was that this relationship would never go further than friendship. Finally. the rambling stopped, and we sat and listened to the band. I was so busy watching the time that I could barely listen. After an hour had passed I left. I was so eager to get out that I had to force myself not to run from the music hall.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Confessions
Did he hear my voice
Jenny ran around the house screaming in delight. “I am going to live in the same state as Mahomes.” Her father seemed a little surprised at her initial excitement. He knew she liked the Chiefs. she had routed for them last season, but he had been expecting a different reaction, The move was going to be in a month. Jenny’s life went on as usual. She went to school and talked on the phone with her friends. Her friends came over after school, and nobody said anything about Kansas. Her father wondered if she had told any of them. She had spent most of her childhood here. The school year ended. It was time to start the pack for the move. Jenny was silent as they packed her room. She was silent as they packed her bike, and sold the trampoline. Her father had a party to say goodbye to all their friends, it was at a neighbor's house. Jenny was pretty quiet at the party. He thought maybe she was disengaging herself from the area, because she was leaving as if she was psychologically saying goodbye. A pretty mature thought process or so he thought, but when they returned home to the empty house, she started to cry. On a piece of note paper she scribbled, I do not want to move to Kansas. I do not want to be alone in an isolated town. She tried not to let her father see it, so she quickly tore it up and threw it in the trash. Both of them were silent. The moving van had left while they were at the party. Jenny looked lost in the empty house, she just wanted to get past this moment. It was breaking her heart. She went and climbed into her father's Jeep. He followed, ignoring his own pain of separation. Both of them had been happy here, and both of them put on a show of being brave.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Fiction
Forgot the name of the story
Tommy couldn't forget Sarah. She had always been so full of life. He called her again He had done some research on Stigma. He knew she didn't want to talk about it. She was happy to hear from him when he called. She told him she was feeling okay. Her doctor had finally stopped calling. He had left her all these stigma meetings from NAMI. Tommy hesitated a little before continuing, He was unsure if he should proceed. "NAMI is an organization of parents of people with mental illness. If your father was alive he would most likely be at these meetings sharing your medical conditions with anybody who attended the meeting. They blame all the family problems on the person with the mental illness. Imagine trying to hold your head up high then. The funny thing is most of these parents who think their childrens' problems should be made public, do not share with anybody about their own mental illness." He changed the topic " But you should not be going through any of this, you do not have a mental illness, if your father had not taken your dreams away none of this would have happened. We would be married, we would have children. We would both be working, You would have dreams. God did not put you on this earth to be glued to the television. Sarah found herself smiling. He cared, he kept calling, and he was being supportive. He might not be delusional she thought. He was learning just like her. How were two average people supposed to understand this medical stuff? For the first time in ages she thought about a future with a man. The man she had previously wanted to marry. She felt a little nervous. She wondered if he was just concerned for her or if he wanted a life with her. She couldn't get herself to ask, but for the first time in a long time, she was hoping. She wondered if she had enough to offer, she had sort of dropped out of life. She hadn't noticed that the conversation had stopped. She was deep in thought. He knew she was deep in thought and dared to ask what she was thinking about. "I guess it was a bad idea," she said "to go to the therapist. They wouldn't even address our initial issue. He was smiling now. "The guy was crazy." Tommy said "he didn't even talk with us. I guess by our appearance he could diagnose us in five minutes. She laughed "Yes, the idea of that is sort of crazy. He was bragging about his diagnosis ability. It took years for me to become me, and he was going to understand what made me tick in five minutes. I just assumed that since he had medical training, I am so sorry I put you through all this" Then she got the surprise of her life." Do you want to go back to our original plans" he asked, She wanted nothing more than to marry him. That had been her dream in the past and that was her dream again. Then he surprises her even more " I want to marry you regardless of your mental health. I can't tell you not to take medication it is your life it is your decision. You were born to live your life. I am just hoping it is with me" She was so sure but she was scared. "I don't look the same, I have gained weight". He laughed " You are still the same person, I fell in love with. I'll think you look gorgeous regardless of your weight." She smiled " Well we have finally answered the question we should ignore my father's dying request. We were born to get married.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Fiction
The Death Wish
Sarah cried when she woke up and found Tommy had left. No anti= depressent could erase the sorrow. He sent her a letter a few weeks later. He was off the pills. He had tried to warn her that they were addictive, that when you went off them you had withdrawals. He was angry that doctor would have put him on a medication that was addictive. A friend of his had weened him off the drug. Sarah found the information hard to believe. Her doctor would not put her on an addictive drug he was a medical professional. She found his letter totally unbelievable. She was very surprized that he was giving her the house. He said if she went off the medication and got her act togather she could give the house back to him. In his letter, he predicted if she kept seeing this doctor, she would need the house because they would soon tell her that she couldn't work. His doctor friend had told him this. She laughed when she read this. He was obviously delusional. She found herself wondering if he still needed the medication.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Fiction
The death wish
When he died, their father had two request. Sarah was not to marry Tommy, and Anna was not to move to Mexico. The girls listened in silence as he mumbled his last breath. Anna had already decluttered her house, and Sarah was madly in love with Tommy, in fact she had moved into his house. Sarah wondered if Tommy would leave her if she only wanted to cohabitate. Anna definetly was not going to stay in this town she wondered where else she could move. Both of them were wondering if they could ignore his death wish. Both of the girls felt slightly trapped.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Fiction
Is she my sister
I was supposed to be playing baseball. But everywhere I looked I saw her, and she seemed to be watching me as well. I had never seen her before. I was curious. When I returned to the bench she came up beside me. She leaned forward to whisper to me, and I leaned toward her to hear, She whispered "Your father is not your birth father." "What" I gasped "It is our family secret ." She continued. "You're crazy" I responded " Get out of here, you are nuts. " I turned my back to her. She seemed hurt, but she left. That pretty girl was nuts, I turned my focus back to my baseball game. I had never seen her before, she did not know my family, she was pretty but she nuts.
By Antoinette L Brey2 years ago in Fiction