When we are young, most people won’t see the world as it is. I can remember the world when I was young, was full of bustle and life, empty of responsibility and solely about meeting friends and having a good time. I couldn’t see much past primary school or secondary school, I knew that they were ahead of me, but between a group of friends at school, and a room for me at home, I could never have imagined what growing older would be—the people I’d meet and who I’d become.
*Sigh* It has taken my mind and heart so long to finally come to the world and share this story. Before I start I do want to state one very important thing. I still love my stepmom, but I do not agree with how she spoke and handled this situation, even though my dumb self put myself there. However, the word no. STILL. MEANS. NO!
The ordeal started in grade school. Post summertime, new school year and I was already feeling the "first-day" jitters creep up on me. That's typical every school year. Growing up in a ghetto neighborhood had always been a struggle for women like me. If you acted different (non-black), you were basically treated... like a lame and a nobody.
My first week of college, I was raped. For the longest time, I could not bring myself to say that I was raped. I started off by denying that it had ever happened to me. Yet when I finally did begin to accept that it had happened, I could only call it sexual assault. I denied myself the reality of what had happened in order to protect myself, but it only hurt me more.
Throughout the years, rape is a topic which is on headlines, mainly because of the increasing rates of rape. It is quite normal that when society is confronted with a social ill, society will construct mechanisms which help us from being victims of rape. However, we often forget to teach ourselves not to rape.
This is my story on suffering mental abuse in a relationship. I guess I will just start from the beginning. I met a guy in a time of my life where I felt I absolutely needed someone to be happy. I didn’t truly love myself or believe myself to be worthy, and jumped at any guy who came my way. This is when I started dating my first long-term boyfriend.