It was a cold day in December. We had just passed our one year anniversary. We made plans to do this about a month ago, but that didn’t make it any easier. I step on the bus and there he is, smile beaming like always when we lock eyes. His black roxy hat backwards covering his chocolate brown hair. His deep brown eyes sparkling, showing that the smile is pure. His 5’8 body dressed in the usual outfit. Blue jeans ripped at the bottom around his black DC sneakers. A black zip up sweatshirt with camo print on the inside, a sweatshirt I borrowed and once felt safe in, with a black green day t-shirt on under it. I sit next to him and lean my head on his shoulder. The scent of axe dark temptation filling my nostrils. A smell I loved.
These are all guesses, I have no clue why this is so hard for me this year. I know this year is different but it's different for a lot of reasons. I will tell you all the reasons I think this year is hard on me and why I feel this way.
Hey it's Alea Thomas you may be hearing this because I'm gone by now and wondering why well my life may be amazing from your eyes but that's speaking from the outside. Let me bring you inside so you can understand why I'm gone. You may say I'm a coward but how can you say if you never been in my shoes but if you have then you know why and how I got to where I am but first a little about myself.
There’s so much fear and shame surrounding sexual assault or abuse. Many victims would prefer keeping quiet to avoid being judged or dealing with the backlash from others. Today’s society has turned its back on those who have experienced sexual abuse, simply choosing to blame the victim rather than taking a good look at the monsters that commit the crime. Being a victim of sexual abuse often leads to other mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, and possibly suicide. Speaking out on a public platform about my experience isn’t easy, but I think it’s about time it happens.