What is happening right now?

What are with these tears? Just coming into existance and rolling down my face.

What is this ringing in my head? Up and down the frequency goes. One ear, two ears... it depends on the frequency of the moment.

One day I feel well grounded. Knowing exactly what I want and need and the next day nothing matters and the world around me isn't even the one I left behind yesterday.

Flickers leaving more than sight, just out of my reach. There one moment and then far away in another time. Deja Vu and left wondering if you were already here, or just being told that you are on the right path.

What is this pain inside my heart? I thought that I had left that all behind me, getting dull in yesterday's sun and heat.

When did these memories start to tug at me, with more importance when I sleep? The dreams pulse and shrink and I haven't had them since so long ago. Each day brings me closer to the truth, especially when I wake and still remember.

I've always talked to myself, I'm far more intelligent than I remember before. I am funny and interesting and if only I could get the junk from yesterday cleared out so I can leave so room for new things dear.

I don't know why my heart just won't stop hurting, my mind won't stop remembering and out of all the wonderful memories of the life I've led you'd think I could forget these instead.

My dreams now teach me while I sleep. They tell to be wary and to watch the world around me. People are not who you think they are and the darkness shines with light reflected, even as it crumbles to the ground.

This isn't what I thought the end would be like exactly. Wasn't what I had expected. Always knew that there was so much more than we were being told, but getting tired of the wait for all to be revealed about this world we live in.

Years keep passing by and it crumbles all around us. The world just walking over the debris of yesterday, either ignoring it or not seeing it at all. I've ridden through it on a bike that felt like freedom. I've owned it darkest corners as I left behind the shining of the love I have felt, known and given freely because that is me.

I am a smile when you need one, a shoulder to hold your head as the tears fall down your face. I am the strength that does what you cannot, not for any other reason than you need a moment to get yourself together.

I am the sunshine on your face when you look to the sky with gratitude, and the lift you need when you are feeling blue. I am the rain in your clouds falling on your head and nourishing mother earth.

I am the laughter in your tear and the strength in your fear. I'll help you find your wings and we can fly away together into the next part of the destiny.

I am the love you threw away a million times, always coming back for more. Trusting and pure. A beacon in the darkness for them all, even as I crawl. I'll be there for them all and all I know is that I know you and what you feel.

I'll fight for you even when your back is turned. I'll find something good within the wrong. I'll look inside and ask if there is something there for me to heal, or if i'm feeling for you in your hour of despair.

Healing it takes time, no matter what the story that brought us here. You have your own pain than you didn't want to share. I would have held it for you while you healed but instead you threw it at me and made me feel the same. I see the darkness in myself, I see the monsters hiding there inside. I talk to them and make them see and send them on their way.

One after another the lessons come to heal. We see them as catastrophes and wonder why they never end. It's what it's all about, learning from what we find inside, mending what we grew from.

The end of times is not what we once knew. I see the people holding on to what they know is real. Willing to give up freedom, so scared they won't learn to embrace anymore. They hide within their shells, not even coming to peek.

I understand their weakness they have been taught to believe each thing they hear. They've told us not listen to just know because they told us. When you stop to listen as your being told you'll see the images of old and read the lines between the trees.

They think that we cannot survive if taxes are not paid in full. We have been at war so long it isn't even noticed that our soldiers are still. When was the last time that you daydreamed of a different life and knew either it was meant to be or had already been.

They think that the government will be the answer to their fear. Never realizing that instead they could be instigator of their dying days. The time that they are their spending just following the crowd, they could be instead learning where we really come from.

It's painful watching people follow one another into the dark abyss, never really thinking about what they could miss. The screens they are a talking and they divide the like minded a part. Now we have forgotten the very center of our bliss.

When did laughter and love take a backseat to the images we've all conjured. When did we decide that our neighbor was the enemy and the mattered less than what other people think.

How did certain people come a long and make us think they were who we needed to follow. Corporations ruling all and giving to none. They took our lives, our money, and our freedom and now seek to take our life.

What is this pain in my head that holds me to the ground, throbbing with electric waves of false hope. Each day I read it's almost time and each day I'm just let down no matter all the signs. This isn't how I thought the ending would be.