Why It Matters To Be Your True Self

Living an authentic life - one where your actions align with your true values and beliefs - can be a very rewarding journey. It’s about letting go of the pressure to conform to those around you and embracing the person you genuinely are.

Constantly trying to be someone you’re not is emotionally and mentally exhausting. By embracing your own authenticity, you reduce the stress and anxiety that comes from “putting on a show” to impress others. This is more likely to lead to a greater sense of inner peace, self-acceptance, and happiness.

Again, when you are true to yourself, you are likely to attract people who appreciate and respect you for who you really are, not for what they wish you to be. Authentic relationships are built on trust and honesty, creating a safe space for genuine connection and mutual understanding.

In essence, not being yourself means living behind a facade which only feeds the expectations of others while gradually erasing your own identity. It sets up a false dynamic where approval is granted not to you, as you are, but to an actor playing a role. By allowing the expectations of others to dictate your choices, you hand over your power to shape your life. You are constantly forced to perform, pleasing everyone except yourself, which leaves you trapped in a life built for an audience, but devoid of a soul.

Take the example of a corporate lawyer who spent a decade wearing sharp suits and speaking in calculated legal jargon because it was the life his family admired. He performed the role impeccably, yet every evening his day ended ended with a hollow, lingering exhaustion. It wasn't until he stepped into a local theatre class on a whim, finally indulging a secret lifelong love for performance and storytelling, that he felt alive again. His shift wasn't just about changing hobbies; it was the profound relief of dropping a heavy, invisible mask.

There is also the artist who spent years producing safe, commercial landscapes because they were guaranteed to sell. The work naturally paid the bills, but it left her feeling like an imposter in her own studio. However, the moment she stopped chasing market approval and began creating unconventional pieces that reflected her true perspective, her audience actually grew. People didn't just buy the art; they responded to its authenticity.

Restoring Autonomy and Self-Love

These two examples show that being ourselves, and aligning our outer action with our inner values  can restore our sense of autonomy and self-love.

However, being authentic requires courage, because it goes against the usual expectations. It means acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses without judgement, which builds greater personal acceptance and self-esteem. You are also more likely to trust your own decisions and feel secure in your unique identity. When you stop chasing external validation, you can then focus on what truly matters to you.

Most important, you are able to develop an internal compass that guides you through any adversity, rather than being swayed by the opinions or expectations of others. Your sense of self would not be dependent on external success or failure.

I enjoy being myself very much, which is why I have been a pioneer in many aspects of my life. I know that, no matter how much ‘better’ than me someone else is, they cannot do the things I do in my unique style, nor do they possess the same knowledge and expertise. It means that, regardless of whether others like it or not, I am more likely to make an impact, as I will not be swallowed up in the unmoving morass of sameness and conformity.

Being yourself is the most attractive part of you. Emphasise that uniqueness because there's only one of you in history. Don't be second-best by being a paltry copy of someone else.

Are you being your true self?