When life gives you lemons...

There are so many times that I find myself in situations that are so challenging I know that I am going to need a lot of energy. Be that physical energy or mental energy. Whilst using physical energy I get tired and sore muscles but I can see and feel where I spent that energy. Mental energy - now that is a different kettle of fish. Sometimes I don’t realise how much mental energy I am using until the headaches start. I often find that the more I try to “be the hero” and not worry my family, the more mentally exhausted I become. More than just headaches, I start regressing into catastrophizing thinking, which leads to doubting my own knowledge and abilities.

So how do I get my energy back? Well, if I don’t make lemonade out of the lemons I am dealt, because I am unable to add any sweetness, then I freeze them and throw them at people who piss me off - figuratively speaking. I have also learnt, the hard way, freezing and throwing lemons makes me feel bad. I always try to be positive and when those seeds of doubt in my own abilities creep in, I find it really difficult to find one thing to be positive about.

That is when, for me, I need to break my basic tasks down into the least amount of steps for me to achieve. For example: To get dressed, sounds simple, but for me it means deciding if it is going to be warm or not, then choosing a top, choosing bottoms, finding socks and shoes, finding deodorant, and then putting clothes on. So what sounds like 1 simple task of getting dressed, for me is actually 6 steps. When I take into consideration that if I were to break down each ‘average’ task into those 6 steps, my day becomes very full just from 3 or 4 ’average’ tasks and very mentally exhausting. That becomes the time where I need to be using my Self-care techniques, remembering that my definition of “Self-care is anything I do that I enjoy that is not harmful to me or anyone”. Part of that self-care is allowing myself to be those daily tasks on the side for 30-60 minutes while I care for me. Sounds simple, huh? If only it was as simple as it sounds. Someone told me a long time ago “It takes 100 times of doing something to create a new habit and it takes 1000 times of not doing something to break a habit” and I have to remind myself of this all the time.

At the end of the day I need to remember how far I have come and that there are going to be days when I am given what feels like an orchard full of lemons. Those are the days I need to add my sweetness and turn them into lemonade. When I add sweetness to the lemons it makes me more pleasant and I am able to share some of that sweetness among those around me. Another sign I have seen reads “Put sugar in what you say and salt in what you hear”.

In closing for today, I guess what I am really trying to say to myself more than anyone else is “Be kind, be gentle, be content and look after you before trying to look after others”.

Thank you for reading this, I appreciate the time taken out of your day. Stay safe and well.