What This Lifetime Has Taught Me

This has not been an easy lifetime. We never had an easy lifetime, but we acquired so much experience this lifetime should have been a breeze. We weren't going off to war, or participating in a rebellion. I know now that those lifetimes we were meant to learn the lesson of loss, betrayal, and self reliance. Looking back now, loss and betrayal were the easiest lessons to learn.

War after war, pestilence after pestilence, natural disaster after natural disaster. There is no lack of ability to lose. We have lost loved ones, homes, and on a few occasions ourselves. Having so many lifetimes consisting of lost makes us go numb after awhile. That doesn't mean we don't still have that longing. The random longing for a person, place or thing without a real reason is our lesson of loss resurfacing lest we forget and have to relearn that lesson all over again. I don't want to relearn that lesson.

Do you remember the war? Do you remember when he died in our arms? That was the first instance of loss. Soon after we lost ourselves in our grief. More war came in each lifetime till we were able to experience loss and learn from it. Do you remember the baby? That loss was not easy. We now know why the plague didn't take us. Do you remember how you tried to get sick, just so you could die as well? We ended up living decades longer than anyone we knew. That lesson of loss stayed with us the way it was intended. Please don't forget those lessons, I don't want to do that again.

Betrayal was the hardest lesson till now. With loss we understood why we lost what we did. The war took our love, the plague took our child, the earthquake buried our wealth. It is easy to rationalize. Betrayal, however, kept us up at night trying to wrap our heads around WHY. Why were we sold to pay off debts? Why were we beaten when we didn't do anything wrong? Did we do something wrong after all? I know these lessons were the biggest ego death we had to face. As it usually is. Do you remember after the flood? When we called out for help? We were found but we weren't helped. That wasn't our fault. It wasn't our fault that people who are scared will preserve their own first. That was another lesson we reveled in: when the masses are scared and scattering be a constant reminder of calm and unity.

Those lessons of loss and betrayal have been instrumental to this lifetime. Self-reliance is a new skill we are utilizing now. Even though we are not participating in violence or upheaval we are still surrounded by it. However in this lifetime we are learning new and more complicated lessons to evolve our soul. Such complicated lessons are love and surrender. We have loved others before but never ourselves. That is why we have the opportunity to be a woman in a time where women are not loved by anyone including themselves. It is an incredible time to be alive. Thanks to this lifetime we are on the fast track to learn how to love unconditionally and learn how to BE loved unconditionally.

It is jarring to be surrounded by external conflict one moment and then be consumed by internal conflict the next. That is where the surrender comes into play. This lifetime, sweet soul, we are relinquishing control. You have endured, and overcame extensive obstacles. All the experience we have acquired was designed to give us the confidence to live this beautiful life. The continuous death of the ego will grant us immense rewards. Now, is the time for surrendering. I can't tell you what is going to happen in this lifetime. There is no secret we already haven't uncovered. Just know, I am proud of you. I love you. I will not abandon you in your time of need.