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The Road to Success...

...is paved with negative feedback

By Cendrine MarrouatPublished about a year ago Updated 10 months ago 4 min read
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The Road to Success...
Photo by Fab Lentz on Unsplash

At the end of 2013, I had completed the fourth draft of a project that would become The Little Big eBook on Social Media Audiences: Build Yours, Keep It, and Win.

Instead of being able to celebrate the achievement, I felt somewhat dejected and stuck.

The book started really well. But everything fell flat around the middle, leading to an ending that could only be described as boring. Further, my initial idea of including quotes from readers of my blog at the end of each chapter no longer worked.

There was clearly something missing. What could it be?

Instead of waiting for the answer to reveal itself, I turned to a few marketing peers and friends whom I trusted. I sent them the draft, asking them for honest, albeit constructive feedback.

The first comments I received stated the same thing: While the book had great potential for sure, it tended to be disorganized and repetitive.

"If I were in your shoes, this is what I would do," people would invariably say. I was grateful for the advice, but I still could not see the whole picture.

And then came the first day of the new year. On January 1, 2014, someone we shall call Mark sent me a long email in which he shared his unadulterated thoughts. According to him, the manuscript had three main faults:

  • My personal stories were boring;
  • The examples I had used were stupid; and
  • Apparently, I bore a grudge against men.

Mark also stated that there was something wrong on almost every page, before concluding that the whole thing sucked. (He still wished me a happy new year, though! 😜)

The comment about men was inaccurate, so it did not bother me. The other ones hit me hard, though, because they just felt like sweeping generalizations and personal attacks delivered in a passive-aggressive tone. I wanted real feedback and that wasn't it. So, I thanked Mark and decided to never ask him for feedback on my projects again.

It took me a day to get out of my funk.

"Only a day," you are probably asking yourself. Yes, only a day. Mark's email was actually a great wake-up call. And as strange as it may seem to you, I am very grateful for it.

I took a break for a couple of days. Stepping away from the project helped me see things very differently. When I started working on the book again, I realized that the problem was actually the format.

So, instead of writing something new, I built on what I already had. I got rid of some chapters and reshuffled and edited what was left. I also added more examples and takeaways. My efforts paid. Beta readers never mentioned the problems of disorganization and repetitiveness again. In fact, they all agreed that the book was worth a read (or three).

Since its release, The Little Big eBook on Social Media Audiences has received an incredible amount of positive feedback. Many readers have stated that all the examples in the book (including those Mark had found stupid) are actually entertaining and insightful. And, the icing on the cake? The book won an award.

So, now onto the moral of the story. Had I dismissed the hurtful feedback, my book would have probably never seen the light of day. If it had, its format (and success) would have be totally different.

A few events have shaped my career as a writer and artist. My experience with Mark is one of them. Every time I feel that I am done with a project, his words pop up in my mind, forcing me to review my work to ensure that it is the best it should be. I often find small errors and inaccuracies that way.

You should always surround yourself with people who respect you enough to challenge you at every level. Do not rest on your laurels and instead pay attention to feedback of all sorts. Of course, negative comments sting and hurt. However, once you take your personal feelings out of the equation, you will be free to focus on the important lessons at stake.

And if, despite your best efforts, there is no lesson to learn, just let it go. You cannot please the whole world, anyway. 😉

---------

This story was originally written a few years ago, but edited and adapted to fit the format of the Passing Ships Challenge:

Write about a small moment in your life that had a big impact.

That's it for today! Thank you for reading!

---

Cendrine Marrouat is a writer, photographer, podcaster, blogger, anthology editor, and the co-founder of Auroras & Blossoms and A Warm Cup of Cozy. She has authored and co-authored more than 40 books, including The Train: A Short Story (2023), In Her Own Words: A Collection of Short Stories & Flashku (2022), After the Fires of Day: Haiku Inspired by Kahlil Gibran & Alphonse de Lamartine (2021), Rhythm Flourishing: A Collection of Kindku and Sixku (2020), Walks: A Collection of Haiku (2019-2020), and In the Silence of Words: A Three-Act Play (2018).

Cendrine's work has appeared in many publications. She is the creator of the Sixku, Flashku, Sepigram, and Reminigram; as well as the co-creator of the Kindku, Pareiku, Vardhaku, and Hemingku.

social mediaworkselfcarehumanity
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About the Creator

Cendrine Marrouat

Writer & Author⎜Photographer⎜Artist⎜Co-founder of Auroras & Blossoms / A Warm Mug of Cozy⎜(Co-)creator of literary forms

"The Train: A Short Story" is out!

Website: https://creativeramblings.com

Donations: https://ko-fi.com/cendrineartist

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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Comments (4)

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  • L.C. Schäferabout a year ago

    I love this. I always try to keep a few Marks around. I see a lot of people on this "positive vibes only" train, and it sucks. It's toxic. I find myself getting sucked in and doing the same dance right here on Vocal, tempted to leave a positive response even if I thought the writing was drivel 😂 I know some people are probably treating my stories the same way - finding something nice to say, or saying nothing at all. When I'm actually craving real feedback to help me do better. Well done for taking the "hurt" and turning it into something constructive. Best of luck in the challenge!

  • Dana Stewartabout a year ago

    Great message in this introspection! With grit and grind you completed the book. Congratulations on the award and good luck in the challenge with this one.

  • Mariann Carrollabout a year ago

    Excellent story, Mark is really a true friend 🥰It’s like telling you don’t go out there wearing a dress with a hole in it.

  • Babs Iversonabout a year ago

    Awesome!!! Loved your line, "Once you take your personal feelings out of the equation, you will be free to focus on the important lessons at stake." Loved this!!!

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