The Problem with Calling Something a Problem

Einstein once said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” I’m inclined to agree. If we kept the same thinking we would probably compound our problem. The best we could hope for would be for it to stay exactly as it is.

However, have you ever considered that the things we often call problems aren’t actually problems? And when that is taken into consideration, Einstein’s quote seems even more obvious. Because by labelling an event a problem, we then do things to try and change something that may not actually be a problem, which then causes even more problems.

One of the best examples of this that I can recall in my life is being in school and observing how teachers would do everything in their power to get underperforming students to do better. They would encourage them to do extra lessons, ignore them, berate them; you name a tactic, they tried it. Did it work? Nope.

These same students are doing relatively fine now because they found what they were good at and are contributing to society. So what the hell was the problem? The problem was the thought that they ought to be excelling in subjects they don’t care about.

Then as an educational psychologist, I saw the same problem. Approaching a child who couldn’t read or do math as a “problem” is a perfect recipe for failing to help the child. It’s bad enough when the resources aren’t there, but the approach is everything.

You would see many of these same kids play (and win) games, trick teachers and navigate their way through school. It was clear that they could learn. But perhaps they needed to learn in a different modality.

Their inability to read, spell or do math wasn’t a problem. How they were being taught (and often times their home environments) were preventing them from learning.

When you consider your own life, life just seems like a series of problems. You have to make money, you have to have a functional social life and you have to be physically and emotionally healthy. These three categories have their own sub-categories of problems.

Then you have your government creating their own series of problems that trickle down to you. They have to fight this other country and you might be drafted. They have to do the bidding of whoever donated to their campaign and if that wasn’t you, then you might not get represented. They have to figure out what sectors to prioritize, and the list goes on and on.

When we look at others and their problems, we have the ability to be more objective. We don’t see the problems that they’re talking about. We like them (the person) just the way they are. That isn’t to say that they shouldn’t go for the promotion or whatever. We just don’t see their success or failure as a problem to address.

However, when it comes to one looking at oneself, these problems are too real. One’s way of life is under attack. But the truth is that we only have problems if we declare it so.

Let’s go to the most problematic problem. Let’s say you had an illness and had a month to live. It is natural for the ego to cause one to feel awful. Everything you know and love is about to end. This would be looking at this news through the lens of a problem.

However, if one could manage to silence the ego and merely look at the news you’ve received, you would live the next four weeks as best as you could. This is looking at this event without the lens of a problem.

How about a less problematic problem but one that is often challenging? What if your spouse cheated on you with your best friend? Clearly a problem, right? This is a massive betrayal of trust and you’ve been made to look like a fool. But that is one perspective that is available to you.

You will have to heal from the pain of betrayal from these two people; that cannot be understated. However, if you call this a problem you will try to “fix” it but there is no fixing what happened. You have this mistaken notion that there is some solution but there isn’t one.

The ego will want to vindicate itself but that is just trapping yourself in a past event. You will then be defined by this traumatic event as you try to make sense of being cheated on. The fact of the matter is that what happened wasn’t about you at all. But the ego will convince you that they lied to you and betrayed your trust. No, it’s about them. They lied. Their actions precipitated betrayal.

I know it is easy for me to say these things when I’m not going through them. But that compounds my point. I am not making it into a problem, therefore I don’t experience it as such. Don’t get me wrong though. I have plenty of practice making events that happened to me and character traits of mine into problems.

In trying to solve them I only made a bigger mess. I swear it’s like a sitcom over here sometimes. By being on the wavelength of the problem, I created even more problems. I began to be defined by my problems. It was only when I threw my hands up and gave up that things changed. I could see how my situation didn’t have to define me and that my characteristics were assets instead of liabilities.

So while I can’t know for sure what Einstein exactly meant by his quote, maybe it was more cryptic than it appeared at first glance.

You might have been angry, hurt, insecure or ignorant which created a problem in the first place and now you need a change of perspective to solve it. You need to be happy, healthy, secure or smart to solve it. But if you were any of these traits and you maintained them, how could you ever have any problems at all?