The fine line

Honestly, I didn't plan to post anything today, just because I needed a few days to think about what I was going to write about.

So, here's something that someone asked me, that truly caught me off guard, and I didn't know how to answer it without thinking about my situation.

"Does the pain ever go away, does it get easier? How do I stop the panic attacks?"

Honestly, I lost my mom almost 8 years ago now, and it hasn't been easier, not a day goes by that I don't ask myself if I am making her proud or what would she think about what I just did, I think about it all the time.

So, does it get easier? No, you learn to live each day without them, some days are harder than others, and sometimes you will find yourself not thinking about them for just a few short seconds, and then you think "did they think I forgot about them just because I didn't think of them for a few seconds?" but to be honest, they don't think you are selfish for not thinking of them for those few seconds, they are cheering you on, and they are happy that you could live your life just for a short few seconds without them on your mind at all times. They know you love and miss them, and truly they don't want you to sit and think about them all the time, so take that few short seconds, breathe it in and then think about them with a smile upon your face.

No, the pain never goes away, you might not feel it for a short while, but it will soon come lurking back behind your smile, and in your eyes. It will always be in your heart, too. A part of you died when your loved one did so, no the pain will never go away. You will learn to cope with it, and your loved one will always be walking by your side, and they will always be cheering you on and helping you when life gets tough.

How to stop the panic attacks? Honestly I can't answer that, I have had one almost everyday for the last 8 years. I have to stay busy to keep from having a panic attack, but I will never tell someone they should work like I do, because honestly, I don't think they should, I think that's why I have all my panic attacks. So, my true advice is, take an hour to reset, or reboot. Breathe, go for a walk for an hour, run, listen to music, meditate, do anything but keep your mind busy, let all the thoughts roll in and don't over think any of them. As they come and go you relax because honestly your brain is overwhelmed and needs to reboot every now and then too.

So, does the pain ever go away? No. Does it ever get easier? No, you just learn to live with it. Do the panic attacks ever stop? For some yes, for others no. It all depends on the person honestly.

Anyways, remember today will only be a good day if you let it.

Good Morning, and have a great day.

Share a smile, two or three. Telling a few compliments to strangers, and be kind, you never know what anyone is going through, and your kindness might just save their life. Don’t be the person that breaks them, because they could be standing on a fine line between life and death, and be the reason they pick life today, and they will probably remember it forever.