Talking about psychological counseling

1. Whether psychological counseling is effective

No one can guarantee it, just like when you go to the hospital and ask the doctor, "Can you cure me of this disease? No doctor dares to give you a definite answer. The same goes for counselors, who dare not give you a guarantee that it will work and what effect it will have.

2. The effectiveness of counseling is related to whether the relationship between counselor and client is compatible

Friend A said that counselors in China are not good, the fees are high, and the effects are not there. I believe he said this is not nonsense but his personal experience.

Because he did find several counselors to consult, and the cost is not low, about 800-1000 yuan per hour, and each counselor has given him more than 5 times, but he can not enter the state, each time ended in failure.

A's experience is real, but is it necessarily the right one? I don't think so. Because I also do counseling, and the cost is much lower than his, I feel that it is still quite effective.

There is a difference between me and A in choosing a counselor. As he is in a better financial condition, he will always look at how the counselor charges, thinking that the counselor with high fees is experienced and more able to solve his problems, and he will choose a counselor who is introduced by others and he will not go to know about it. I will first observe the consultant I want to choose for a long time, I will follow his public number, and read his articles, articles often exist all kinds of projections, that can flow into the author's emotions, way of doing things, personality traits, etc., will also check the consultant's qualifications, consulting hours and other information. I would do more pre-work, but once I chose him, I would trust him completely. The advantage of this is that I have a better match.

3. The effectiveness of counseling depends on the results of the efforts of both the client and the visitor

Some people go to counseling and then leave all the problems to the counselor and do not realize and reflect on them, as long as the counselor gives the method and then they implement it, which is not very effective.

A said to me, "I feel that Chinese counselors are not good, they ask a lot of nonsense, but they can't find out the essence of the problem directly, and don't tell you the method, I despise them too much, it feels like making money in disguise.

Qualified consultants are not directly telling you the method, because the method in the network search, you can find, but useful? No, if it works, why do you come to the consultant ah?

From the attitude of the counselor A chose, we can see that he is a person who is afraid of trouble and likes to keep things simple, just give the method to be implemented, not wanting to be aware inwardly or not ready to be afraid to be aware inwardly, and then blame the counselor.

The effectiveness of counseling is not only related to the counselor's experience level, personality traits, and personal growth, but also to the visitor's commitment, which is the result of the joint efforts of both parties.

4、Can I solve my psychological problems by reading books and listening to classes by myself?

Many people will feel that I don't know whether the counselor I choose is a good match or not, and I don't know the level of the counselor, so I feel that choosing the right counselor is more difficult than finding a date.

I think I can solve some problems by reading books and listening to lectures, but it takes a long time, and I have to be very perceptive, so the effect is poor. Counseling is effective because the relationship between counselor and interviewer plays a central role, and technology comes second. We can only master theoretical knowledge and techniques by reading books and listening to lectures, but it is difficult to fill the relationship.

The reason why people have psychological imbalance is often the problem of relationships, and relationships must be formed through human interaction. Sometimes it feels fake to imagine interacting with people through meditation and so on, because you can't believe in experiences you haven't experienced in reality, at least that's how I feel.

5、What effect can counseling have?

Does this still depend on what is your goal of counseling? And whether to choose short-range or medium-length counseling. If the goal is very big, you should choose long-distance counseling, the goal is small short-distance counseling is good. Long-term counseling will change a person's personality.

Although personality has stability, personality also has plasticity, your long-term interaction with the counselor will change your view of objective things. In fact, from here we can also see the reason why it is very difficult to change by reading and listening to books by yourself because interpersonal interaction will play a big role in personality reshaping while reading and listening to books by yourself is always a person, personality has stability, it is really difficult to change, even though it can be changed through counseling, the process is tortuous and will be repeated often.

Let's talk about some of the results I've achieved in counseling.

Counseling can have a cathartic effect.

Once I was very stressed, so I went to a counselor for counseling. Sometimes I think the counselor didn't deal with anything, he just listened and gave feedback, but this can have an unexpected effect. I also wrote down my feelings about the consultation at that time.

If the human psychological system is compared to an ecosystem, then it can be understood as follows: when the ecosystem has a good level of purification, then our living environment will be very comfortable; when the internal structure of the ecosystem changes, its function will decline, the level of purification and regeneration will be affected, the entire ecosystem will be out of balance, and the survival of people will be affected. Therefore, to maintain ecological balance, we must follow the ecological laws, protect the environment, save energy and reduce emissions to clean up pollutants promptly.

When the body has a lot of negative energy, it should be cleaned up in time to free up mental space to ensure the normal functioning of mental functions; and the ability to free up mental space depends on one's purification level, when the purification level is high, one can free up by oneself when the purification level is low, one has to free up mental space with the help of external forces.

Change of perception

There are various types and natures of human psychological problems, many of which are not mental illnesses, they are triggered by complicated social life. For example, when someone says that I am just too lucky, my mother-in-law and husband treat me well, and I don't need to do much housework, while she has to do all the hard work, and it is all fate, I get angry when I hear it. Because my translation of the statement was that I was too lazy to do all the housework and was a bad wife, I felt she was making fun of me.

But the counseling made me realize that the reason I can not do much housework my family is okay with me and treats me quite well is that there must be some trait in me that they like. The person who said that about me always likes to complain, and no one wants to help a person who likes to complain for a long time.

Counseling has made me better at adjusting my emotions and making the parent-child relationship more harmonious.

For example: once Dabao wanted to chat with me, but she had a lot of homework, and it was her duty day, and I didn't know, I only received the signal that she wanted to chat with me, so I kept chatting with her, and then she suddenly got angry with me, blaming me for not finishing her homework because I kept chatting with her, I was quite angry at her reaction, and I felt so wrong, if it was the old me, I would have been angry with her, but that day I didn't get angry with her, I just said to her: then you do your homework, and then left.

When I left, she couldn't do her homework, and after ten minutes or so, she called me over again. She said to me, "Mom, I can't do my homework, I can't stop thinking about what happened when I got mad at you, and I feel especially guilty."

I told her: "I chatted with you, and it did affect your homework, so it is normal for you to be angry, you will be angry, but also shows that you have a sense of responsibility, and you will be on time to complete the homework assigned by the teacher, and remember that today is your duty, which is quite good, I do not blame you, just next time you are not available to talk to me about it ".

At this point, her heart settled down to do her homework. And I also felt a sense of accomplishment, both overcoming myself and not damaging the parent-child relationship, and we both rubbed and grew in the conflict with each other.

6、What are the feelings about the consultation process?

The counselor's listening and empathy will make you feel that someone can understand what you say, and someone can understand your unhappiness, unlike those program men who only reason with you and make you sound like they have a point, but you are so angry that you have nowhere to vent your anger.

The counselor will not try to change you, will not ask you what kind of person you should be, you just have to live the way you want to live and live authentically, and he will accept the real you. Many times our pain comes from our inability to accept who we are, and the acceptance of the counselor in counseling can change your original experience so that you can experience that there are people who will accept such a "bad" me, and as the number of counseling sessions increases, this experience will be internalized, and you will unconsciously change.

If it is positive empathy, you may feel comfortable or uncomfortable, if it is negative empathy, you will feel that the counselor is so annoying that you will not want to care about him.

To say that the feeling may not be the same for everyone, in short, counseling will not make you comfortable, and the process will be accompanied by pain, if you go beyond the pain, you will grow a lot. I don't know what you want to say about psychological counseling haha ......