Survive with anxiety

I've been struggling with anxiety since my early adolescence but only in the last few years since I learnt about yoga and meditation did I start utilising philosophy for self-help. At first it seemed nearly impossible to have any control over my own thoughts and feelings but since I became more open towards spiritualism and read enough about different practices that are rooted in eastern philosophies I gained a better insight over mental problems. I had to realise that the negative thinking patterns are the main problem and that they can be changed. There are a number of facts that I had to understand to be able to deal with my issues.

1. Adaptability

The first is the question of insecurity. In this world nothing is permanent. Everything and everyone is under constant change. Humans have the tendency to create routine and live their lives in a way that gives them security but in the end of the day we can never be fully in control over the world around us, or even over our close environment and ourselves. There is no point fighting the changes because they will happen and they need to happen. All we have to do is to accept this as a fact so when something changes to the worse from our perspective we need to be ready to embrace it as easily as the changes we wanted.

2. Self love

It might sound like a cliche but it is very true that you have to love yourself. Not just tolerate, but to be able to forgive yourself for your own mistakes, accept your flaws and fully recognise yourself as a person of value. This is definitely one of the hardest things to do but it is essential as this life can only be experienced with your own body and your own mind so you need to make peace with them and make the best out of it. We all make mistakes and have habits that deteriorates our self worth but instead of focusing on that and seeking out ways to punish ourselves we need to forgive ourselves and move on as soon as we can.

One of the main reasons for my self loathing was actually my mind's tendency to have unsettling thoughts and disturbing feelings. But the immense hate I had for myself for having anxiety created a vicious circle of more anxiety and more self hate. So I had to be able to see the situation from outside, acknowledge the thoughts and feelings as something that's natural and is a part of me then simply decide not to be bothered my them. And if something is not going the way you want it in your relationships and you blame yourself, you shouldn't because it's not necessarily your fault and you don't have to please anyone apart from yourself. Needless to say that it is a lot easier said than done and changing thought patterns is not a quick achievement but realising the problem and making peace with yourself is one of the first steps.

3. Living in the moment

Anyone who's familiar with mindfulness meditation or zen Buddhism will know the importance of the power of now. We need to relearn to look at the world with the eyes of a child. While your consciousness is being developed as you are growing up, you increasingly become part of multiple systems that were created by humans before you. This will make you want to categorise and label things; judge and make instant decisions; act and try to live your life to comply with other people's expectations. If we never question these things they will become second nature and they will be sources for anxiety. Instead of that we should live every moment as if it was the only reality, because it really is. You can't experience the past because your memories exist in the present and that is as real as past get get for you. Past does not have the intensity of the present nor are you an active participant of it so you can't make changes to it. And when it comes to the future you can plan as much as you want but you can never fully know what is going to happen. For this reason your only concern should be the present moment.

4. Finding the right focus

My last advice on how to live with anxiety is strongly connected to the previous point. You have to focus on your own reality and not to allow your mind to start comparing others' lives with yours. In your current form you can only live your own life and you cannot certainly know what is it like to live someone else's. We all have our own journeys which is determined by many factors and one of those is sheer luck thus comparing yourself to anyone else is a futile and unnecessary exercise for your brain and it only causes anxiety. On the other hand if you want to connect with a fellow human don't focus on what separates you from them but instead on what unites you with them. And most of all, don't have any expectations, just accept what you can get from a relationship and be content with it.

These are some of the things I keep in mind to stay mentally balanced and I hope that they might be useful for someone else too.