My Breaking Point

I have always been strong and independent. At what point in my life should I have realized this was my breaking point?

When you are young your biggest concern is getting good grades or dealing with your parents and their rules.

As you get older it becomes should I drop out or stay in school. Some families push college from early on. While other do not even mention it. Is this wrong?

In today's society you are pushed by others to be the best. To go onto college like all the rest.

If you don't you won't succeed. It is what has been repeated over and over again. Because in our heads that is where they plant the seed.

To grow up in a world that has always looked down on me. To be one step behind all the rest because you are a minority.

To never fit in as you are caught between two worlds. To give in and assimilate or stand your ground and test your faith.

I have always been proud of who I am. It took quite a while to build this strength and confidence. Trying not to ever need anyone or have a dependence.

It got me through a lot... in thick and thin. It takes a lot out of someone when you are facing things alone.

I have never been one to condone injustices or mean behavior. I stand firm in my beliefs and never waiver.

At times, I feel this characteristic of mine is more of a flaw. To have empathy and compassion has led to my own downfall.

When you stand up for others and speak your mind it sometimes puts a target on your back.

What if you stand up for yourself? Why must I be under attack?

We all have rights and should be treated as equals. But some get it in their heads that they are better than others.

A fancy title and a little bit of higher education does not make you a better person.

When your ego goes to your head with a little bit of power. I would rather be a good person instead.

So, I find myself in this situation. Forced to take an unpaid medical leave due to my boss's persuasion.

Instead of advocating, supporting me, and taking my side. She turned on her charms for others while she lets the snake hide inside.

So, after raising my two kids alone over all these years, and dealing with chronic pain and health issues as they arise. Why should this come as such a surprise?

I have found myself more than once unemployed. Fighting to keep my house and find another job.

What started as my dream job is now a nightmare. All I can do is blankly stare, hang my head, and begin to sob.

All the times of making ends meet while living check to check. All the hurt and anger, for my kids having to grown up without a father, as I continue to try and protect.

I find myself trying to survive as I focus on an uncertain future while I reflect.

How did it come to this, and how did it get so bad? You have been thru every up and down. Pushed on when you were extremely sad.

Dug deep down inside and held on throughout this wild ride. You made it through being a single mother while working and going to school.

So why now do you ask yourself what do I do? Do I continue to put up a fight?

After being used and abused and taken for granted. Fighting for others while your good name is being blasted.

When all you do is try to help others, why is it you who ends up with all the problems?

I have come to realize this world is not good to me and taking on all this alone is not good for me.

Although, I have started to re-build this program and our community. I find myself thinking foolishly.

To think one person could make a difference. You cannot when so many people are filled with ignorance.

The most difficult part of my entire life is having to deal with things that are out of my control.

To see what I have fought for and built being picked apart and destroyed.

To see others believing someone else's lies. While they steal your ideas, to make themselves look better, makes me really annoyed.

So, I sit here and wait, while others decide my fate. As they take away all my control and define my new role.

I try to tell myself to fight the good fight. To never give up and try not to quit.

At what point in my life should I have realized this was my breaking point?