Messages That Have Helped Me Along The Way!

Stories I was told growing up, culture stories taught me values and lessons. Many in a humorous way. The story about the eagle flying through the center of the storm to get to the other side has been so helpful to me and others.

It was said to be the quickest way, rather than trying to go around and get beat up. I liken that to walking through grief to get to the other side rather than self-medicating.

The Native American culture has wonderful stories and my mother and sister told me a lot of helpful things about our culture. My sister told me that it is important to follow our family ways first, then a culture teacher, and finally consult a respected elder.

She said that there are a lot of culture cops and we do not have to listen to them. My mother and my sister were both extremely helpful as I grew up and throughout their lives.

Many years ago a friend told me when she gets in the car, she says "Thank you for keeping the deer in the ditch and I added - critters in the ditch, the birds in the air, and the bugs where they belong, which I say every time I drive.

A good friend told me when my marriage was coming to an end. You can decide to end a relationship. The one you are in now, it doesn't mean you can't be together. It means, if you are together, it won't be sick!

My sponsor said it is important to take baby steps. I don't have to get everything all at once. Making change is best in baby steps. She had me pick where we would have coffee every other week. She said months later that since I learned how to choose, I was working on my perfectionism.

It took me a while to figure that out. And now I have no problem with making decisions.

Another sponsor asked what I wanted to get rid of about me. I told her jealousy and sarcasm. She said to think about jealousy as a green-eyed monster and sarcasm meaning to tear flesh, so a green-eyed monster tearing flesh. I could let that go and I asked to have that removed and it was.

Then a cancer psychologist I met had the perfect things to say when I was struggling, "What you resist persists," and then sometime later he said, "Eat an elephant one bite at a time!" I don't know where he got those sayings but they were welcome at the time.

A woman speaking at an open meeting said all she ever saw was the farm and her small community, until her recovery. Then she saw the world. Instead of helping only the people in her community, through service, she was able to help others get into recovery in other countries.

In my mid-20s, I had the opportunity to live in the present. I was always in the past or future. "We cannot heal the past by dwelling in it; we heal the past by living fully in the present." Marianne Williamson

Joyce Landorf was on a video presentation that I saw at a church group for women. The message that stuck with me was so important, and I always recommend it.

When praying for your children, or anyone, include their partners. I have 7 children with my husband and I do that and have never had trouble with any of their partners and that includes my grandchildren's partners.

Sid Simon's vulture story is one of my favorite stories. We have no negative messages as babies and as we grow we hear more and more negatives. He calls the negative messages vulture food. Feeding a vulture that is flying somewhere overhead.

Before long the vulture is so full, he is bopping us on the top of the head. We don't need others to feed the vulture food, as we are telling ourselves negative messages, like; I'm too slow, I'm ugly, I'm dumb. None of those are true but that is vulture food.

To change that we start by stopping the thoughts or words, oftentimes in mid-sentence, and then reaching up and saying pluck you vulture.

This is not the end, it is only the beginning of a whole lifetime of wonderful positive recovery. Stay tuned!