Life Lessons From A Loner

When the word "loner" is used, it is often associated with a shy, introverted, and quiet personality. These are often associated with negative connotations. As someone who has been labeled a loner more than once, I wanted to discuss how I have come to accept this label. As someone who does not have many friends, I have also learned that one can find solace in spending time with oneself.

I did not have many friends, which is significant as many people find it difficult to find friends when they are in their early teens. I experienced a lack of friends growing up due to the fact that I moved from school to school multiple times during elementary school.

I began to experience anxiety in crowds. I would attempt to find a place to sit or a person to have lunch with, and I would walk through the hallways with a sick feeling in my stomach due to the thought of the large number of people surrounding me and the likelihood of them talking negatively about me. Most of this was likely due to my experience of not being accepted for a long period of time, which then manifested itself in the form of negative thoughts in my mind.

When I did not move to a new school, I still experienced a sense of not belonging in general. My home environment was different from that of many of my classmates, which caused me to feel that I was not accepted and that I did not belong. Additionally, I was the only Asian child in the class, which made me stand out.

All of this adds up to a sense of loneliness that I have experienced, and it is not always easy. There were some people who were kind and tried to be kind to me, but there were also some who were not so kind. It is unfortunate that this can occur at such a young age, but I found myself being called names and told things that were not appropriate. This made me more suspicious of people's motives and made me realize that we must also protect ourselves.

Eventually, I began to find myself more comfortable conversing with others. I began to feel that I had a wide range of activities and people to engage with at this stage of my life. I eventually accepted the reality of my current situation and found solace in what I had and gratitude for what I had.

I thought that if people genuinely wanted to be friends with me, it would be a two-way street. I didn't think it was unreasonable to expect that if someone was genuinely trying to communicate with me, I would receive a response at some point. I eventually realized that when I met the right people, I would meet the people I had to meet in order to put myself in a situation where that would happen.

I had a lot of relationships that I had to break up with, which was hard for me, but it was a part of me that recognized that the best thing I could do for myself was to find joy and peace in being alone, rather than feeling the need to be around others, especially when I wanted to go out and do things on my own.

I was privileged to be able to do what I wanted to do, and when I started doing things on my own, I felt like there was nothing wrong with it, I was having fun, and if anyone was judging me or thinking negatively things about me, then they probably had nothing better to do. As I got more comfortable and more confident in who I was, I began to do these things more confidently.