I still hate Christmas

I have said this before somewhere, I hate Christmas. To the extent of triggering depression and anxiety. My first Christmas with fibro myalgia doesn't help my mood as well. My first Christmas remarried plus time off work but still I want it over. There cant be many people actually looking forward to January.

The bright lights and gaudy tinsel start me off, especially when shops put it up in October. Then the chocolate and the stealthy appearance of Christmas cards. It extends the anquish from a few weeks to a few months. I try and think it will be soon over but it just goes on and on.

As a youngster I liked it, presents and no school. Soon I became a parent far too young and it all changed. The kids mother had he birthday on Christmas day, so the countdown was more to that then Christmas. Then the day dragged, almost going backwards. Occasionally we would go to a friends or family, still it crawled.

The time was coordinated by the television magazine and what was on when. Usually things on throughout the year but a bit longer for Christmas. Otherwise Christmas specials of variety acts or special one offs.

It also means you might want to watch something and therefore want the day to hurry up and get there. Kids will be upstairs with their toys or watching their own stuff. I just drank more and eat more then was ever healthy.

After leaving the family home and living in a number of places, with a number of people things improved and dropped. The pluses with other kids and the downs when alone. Even now with my young wife christmas is a day off and different food, thats it. Luckily she is happy whatever happens as long as she has a few presents.

Consciously or unconsciously if anyone asks what i want i can only answer with concerts. This means again I want time to pass to reach the gig dates. Its also fun to have my mother in law to have to order tickets for Cradle of filth or similar.

The only enjoyment I really get is getting people the right presents. I think with most people I can tell when they are being polite and when they actually like the gift. Something they didn't know they needed til they unwrapped it is the trick.

I wont say I hate the time for any religious reason, being a born again atheist means I know Christmas is a celebration stolen by Christians. The parties were going on thousands of years before any deity was made up. I was though born again before I hated Christmas , leaving the family home was the main trigger I think.

Anyone can celebrate in any way they like, as long as they can put up with my way. I don't do prayers, don't do hymns and don't do anything even hinting to a whiff of religion. To be fair I don't celebrate Easter either. When I had to go to Easter concerts with my kids I found myself singing Monty Pythons "always look on the bright side of life"

I will do all I can to avoid trees, lights and decorations, hard as the house I live in is full of it all. Its a money server though, I try and avoid shops full of decorations if I can.

Its also a time of year where adverts and tradition forces people who cant afford it to try and celbrate a certain way. The pressure is terrible and can drag many people down to where I end up. So enjoy your own way and hope it goes quickly.