Hello, I have Anxiety.

Have you ever had that one friend who is always negative towards you. Not sure, whether its to help you or hurt you. Always breathing down your neck, telling everything wrong in your life, or magnifying the minor from the simplest thing.

My friend is named Anxiety, one friend that never goes away.I wonder, if people who has this mental illness but in different forms.

My daily struggle is social anxiety. Being around crowds, is exciting and liberating for some. For me its a nightmare! I can't even go to a grocery story without freaking out. Anxiety, is always negative. Some examples: "You know there staring at you... I'm sure they think you look ugly." , "why bother speaking to them, they're going to hate you more." If I try move or be goofy with anyone. "Ah, what are you doing, you look stupid!" Of course theirs many more, my friend anxiety has to say in many situation.

I'm not a doctor, but i'm sure this mental issues comes in many different types. Some is just more extreme than others. My friend anxiety shows up how it wants, when it wants. Even when i'm feeling good about myself, and life is so good. It shows up, trying to be negative usually i'm able to ignore anxiety because i'm so happy. But when i'm depressed it shows up with a vengeance.

"No body wants you!" , "You should stop talking or they'll look at you stupid." , "You will never meet friends, or a husband because your so weird." These are just a few examples of what Anxiety says on my worse days.

A visual of what it feels like in my head. Pretend your swimming in an open pool or water with nothing in site. Your relaxing enjoying the rays sun of the sun, floating in the water listening to smooth sounds of the waves. Then all of a sudden, a strong force submerges you deep under water. Doing your best to fight, to get back to the surface. Doing the best you can to fight.

But the pressure is to great on you. Anxiety preventing you to not be seen, to not be heard. Speaking to anyone is the toughest challenge you face every day, or just taking a beautiful moment that makes you so happy. But in life its so hard to enjoy it. Anxiety is strong, and will try find anything wrong with you or situation. Even though you do your best to fight back, but sometimes the force is so great it prevents you from even trying. So you always try to please others, to try to not be embarrassment, to hide from the rest of the world. But really all you try to do is just breathe.