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Flying service horses...

and why it's such a good thing that I'm poor.

By The Schizophrenic MomPublished 2 months ago 4 min read
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Flying service horses...
Photo by E. Diop on Unsplash

Ok, so let me start this article off with some background. Some entity has been denying me my service horse. After getting a lawyer involved, this entity is citing non-specific safety concerns about Aurora walking with me. Yet, I am more than welcome to have her with me. Just without her walking.

Confused? Yeah, so am I. But that is a different story that my attorney is supposed to be working on an outcome for... But for today? I am thinking of all the ways that I can follow these directions to the letter. Because I am very good at solving problems and finding loopholes that you never knew existed.

So, no walking with Aurora... yet have her with me...

My first thought was a wagon. I could pull her in a wagon to wherever I needed to go. But I'd have to buy a wagon big enough. And then, would it be required to be registered as a motorcycle trailer to ensure it was big enough for Aurora's comfort?

A wagon would be heavy too... I sometimes struggle with the two kiddos in the stroller and Aurora is bigger than that. So... oh... we could put a small engine on it! Would that fall under a motorized vehicle or a scooter though? If I said it identified as a lawnmower (cause Aurora is good at mowing grass), could I just put a farm equipment sign on the back of it? hehe

However, Aurora might stamp a foot on a wagon like that which then could be misconstrued into her taking a step, or in other words, walking. We can't have that.

How else is she supposed to be with me sans walking?

Hmmm....

What if I taught her to skateboard like this dog:

While that would be hilarious, I'm pretty sure that Aurora would have something to say about this idea... well... any of these ideas actually. LOL Plus, skateboarding requires a potential stepping motion... so I guess that is out too.

Well, my Mom likes Pegasus' and it is just too bad that they aren't real because if Aurora could fly, this problem would be solved.

Flying?

Wait...

I can work with this line of thoughts!

All I have to do is get a hot air balloon to make sure she is levitated like 8 inches off the ground and just float along next to me. In between the giggles at this thought, I got to wondering if there is such a thing that I could buy.

Turns out, yes! I'd have to modify it for use with a miniature horse, but... yes! For a mere $23,000 I could solve this "walking with me" problem. Unfortunately I was not born a millionaire.

Or I could do helium in balloons. I just would need 30-40 pounds of helium and a ton of balloons... too bad helium costs so much. That would cost between $6,000 and $8,000. Plus the balloons. Back to not being born a millionaire.

What about a drone?! Googling... only $92,000. And I'm not that good of a remote control operator so it would be risky for Aurora's safety. *sigh* Back to square one.

Even though I haven't come up with a legitimate way to walk the line that was drawn in the sand for me with this entity, the pictures and videos my mind has come up with is great stress relief. *smile*

And yes, if the entity is reading this, I have EVERY intention of adding this idiocy to a training program I'd eventually like to create to answer these loopholes horrible people try to use to get away with discrimination. I hear so much about people trying to fake service animals, but this entity? Like many others I've experienced only want to make fair access inaccessible, or at the very least, as uncomfortable as possible for anyone with a service animal.

That makes me want to cry.

So instead, I am picturing Aurora floating from a hot air balloon on Main Street of my small town whilst giggling so hard that I might need my inhaler.

And times like this, I am completely understanding of why God didn't let me be born as a millionaire... because, as long as I was convinced of Aurora's safety, I just might do it to prove the point of how absolutely ridiculous it is to say she can be with me, just not walking. *smile*

NOTE: No animals were injured or will be injured and this does not condone any behaviors along these lines. Just my imagination at work doing it's finest! *smile*

anxietycopingpanic attacksrecoveryschizophreniastigmatrauma
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About the Creator

The Schizophrenic Mom

I am a mother of 2 precious angels who drive me slightly more crazy

than I already am with a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

When asked "are you crazy?!" my favorite come back is:

"yes! And I have the papers to prove it! How about you?" LOL

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  • Diana Kelley2 months ago

    if only you had the money... lol

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