Depression

Have you ever wondered what it is like to have depression? Some might think that it's something that you can simply get over. But what they don't know is, it's a lot more than that.

Imagine, you are in a room surrounded by your peers. All of them are laughing and carrying on a conversation. Sitting there feels like you are underwater, the people around you aren't affected but, it feels like you're drowning. The feeling of wanting to scream fills your lungs and the burning fills your lungs. You want to scream but, don't because you don't want them to see your suffering. Looking around, you try and try to find an escape. The burning feeling travels up to your throat, the scream is at the tip of your tongue. You continue to hold the scream to not make yourself a target. Finally, you get up to go to the bathroom to escape. Entering the bathroom, the burning sensation leaves your lungs and the need to scream goes away. You look in the mirror and you see the face looking back at you. At first, you don't recognize them but then they're recognized. They are worn and tired, bags under the eyes show the lack of sleep. Skin pale and almost sick like. But, one thing that stands out the most is the eyes, bloodshot from tears. Were you crying? Sometimes, emotions are too much. Looking at the door you think to yourself that you need to go back before they question where you went. The thing that stops you from going back is your eyes and tears falling from your face. Wiping the tears, you think of some excuse of why your eyes are so red. Allergies? That might work, even though you never had an issue with allergies. You think of more excuses but, the first thought still comes back. So allergies it is. You clean yourself up and put on that fake smile that is worn a little too often. As you walk back, they asked if you were ok and why it looks like you were crying. You want to tell the truth but you brush it off and tell them it's only allergies. They didn't question it and welcome you back.

Sometimes you never know if someone is suffering on the inside. The signs might not be there, but the battle is on the inside. What is the battle like inside?

You are in a dark place. Looking around you see nothing but darkness and death. It may feel like your in there in person but, it is all in your head. You think you might be alone but, there are others along with you. They are the doubts that linger. They say things like "You are not good enough," "You are not pretty enough," "Your body is pathetic," and "the world is better off without you." You try to cover your ears to stop listening to them, but it's no use, all of it is in your head and is too loud to ignore. Looking over, you see others cowering in the corner. At first, you question what they are but, then realizing that they are your happy emotions. Trying to figure out what to do, you make a decision. Looking at the ground, you see what looked like a huge chest. With one look at the negative ones, you force them in the box. Then you look at the ones that are good emotions. Your heart aches with knowing that they have to go away too. But without being negative, you tell them they will be able to return at some point.

I know that depression has many forms and not everyone carries it differently. But, either way, depression is a medical problem. If you see someone that looks like they are suffering, simply say hi. You never know if it might make their day.