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Counselor and Therapist Comments

Especially for those working with the Native American program participant.

By Denise E LindquistPublished 2 months ago 4 min read
Top Story - July 2023
Counselor and Therapist Comments
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

It is important to be positive.

Addiction demands we stay negative.

If we don’t heal our trauma, grief and loss,

no one will talk to us about the cross

they carry. Sometimes it is abuse,

sometimes it is death and their use

of drugs and alcohol. It can be divorce,

or breakup of a relationship, of course.


Keeping that inside, keeps them a revolving door.

In treatment, detox, the fifth floor.

Sometimes it is jails, institutions or death.

It can be difficult to take a breath

thinking of all that can and does happen to the we.

Children suffer too, and rights can be

terminated. That is a real difficult one you see!

We don’t want to show sympathy

it is important to know empathy.


Grief work is journaling, writing

letters, sending a post card, laughing,

and all forms of art are healing.

Tears and laughter are our first two

medicines. We cry when we are born too,

that is the first and when we are four or five

months, we laugh. It is so good to be alive

when we can laugh and cry.


Breathing is another important practice and why?

When we are having anxiety or panic attacks, for

practice try the following to end the attack before it starts. Let’s try.

Breath into the count of 4, hold it to 4, breath out to 4

and hold it to 4, and repeat. 4x4 breathing or square breathing.


We can have all the education in the world and the best counseling

group I ever worked with had a 10-month counseling program and life

experience. They did have lots of strife,

that they had spent working on over their lifetime.

For some that was many years and others it was a short time.

The doctoral therapists were at times afraid to hurt

a program participant, so they were stuck, and a stiff shirt.


Working with clay, reading books for all ages, music

dance and psychodrama are all therapeutic.

Wiping of tears and a cedar ceremony are great

within the culture. Many ceremonies are top rate.


A relative told me she is now a therapist with thirty or so

clients. I said, I have to tell you then what I want you to know.

If you don’t do your own trauma work, then refer for that

part. Allow your program participants a real chance at

having the best possible outcome. She started to talk

about her brief experience with counseling and she did balk

at the idea of counseling for herself. It is such a surprise

although it shouldn’t be to talk with all these wise

people who want to help others, but don’t want support

for themselves. I like the idea of a port

in the storm. I like programs that have clinical supervisors

to review program participants with therapists or maybe advisors.


I would tell people that grief work doesn’t have to be all tears, okay?

As a matter of fact, only allow tears for a set time each day.

Like no more than 20 minutes to look at pictures, write a letter

it shouldn’t take longer than that each day to feel better.

And then go on with your day. If something comes up, try to

save it for the next day or two.

Some people believe they won’t stop crying if they start.

I tell them I can teach them to stop crying if they need to learn that art.


We have tears that clean the dirt out and tears that have our bodies feel

good chemicals that are there to help us to heal.

We run out of tears, so no one can cry forever. Maybe several hours but no

more than that. It is important to allow those feelings and that healing, so

cry, drink water to replenish those tears. Water is medicine too. Laughter,

even fake laughter is good. Our brain doesn’t know the difference and after

a good laugh or a good cry we will feel better, and we can move on with life.

We want people to not self-medicate and to live a life with less strife.


The world is a better place because of all that you do.

Give the people you work with the very best of you.

When a diagnostic assessment says you are too well adjusted

to need counseling, then you are done with being dusted

off and set straight. You don’t have to do it all at once

and you can find someone that isn’t a dunce

to work with you in a good way.

There are so many good ones out there I say!


First published by Mindful Mental Health in Medium


About the Creator

Denise E Lindquist

I am married with 7 children, 26 grands, and 11 great-grandchildren. I am a culture consultant part-time. I started writing A Poem a Day in February 7 years ago. I wrote 4 - 50,000 word stories in NaNoWriMo. Writing on Vocal/Medium now.

Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (15)

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  • Jay Kantor2 months ago

    Hi D - I think my Therapist was listed under the 'Dunce' category - Some do yoga or meditate - I've learned a skill of Self-Hypnosis - even over Script-Pills - Always my Pleasure Jay

  • Congratulations on top story and well deserved 🤍✨ Did this just flow through you or did it take a lot of work to write? I ask because it’s surprisingly long and to a high standard all the way from start to end! I’m curious 😊

  • z.ventage boxes2 months ago

    I've been an ardent collector of vintage items for as long as I can remember, and customizing vintage boxes has become a delightful passion. Each box tells a unique story, and by customizing them, we become the storytellers, adding a new chapter to their journey through time.

  • Missclicked2 months ago

    wow, these are some real facts stated. loved it congratulations on top story!

  • Tiffany Gordon 2 months ago

    Loved this piece! It was very insightful! I will be using the advice that you provided to navigate my own grief journey! Outstanding work Denise! Congrats on your TOP STORY!

  • Babs Iverson2 months ago

    Authentic, positive therapy!!! Fabulous article in poetic form!!! Loved it!!! Congratulations on Top Story!!!❤️❤️💕

  • Cathy holmes2 months ago

    Great article, Denise. Congrats on the TS

  • Mariann Carroll2 months ago

    Well written. I feel you would create a good book on trauma. You have a great understanding and empathy on it. 🥰Congratulations 🎉

  • Jazzy Gonçalves 2 months ago

    Yes 🙌 I love this message!

  • Sid Aaron Hirji2 months ago

    Definably facts. Thanks for sharing this

  • Congratulations on your Top Story🫶🏾‼️❤️

  • Judey Kalchik 2 months ago

    Thank you for sharing this on Vocal! Your experience shines through every line.

  • Gorgeous! Especially loved your description of Grief Work

  • Emma Kate Coleman2 months ago

    Important stuff!! Thanks for sharing this courageous piece. 🙏🙂

  • Well worth Publishing ❤️🥹🥰📝‼️

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