Ask Inner God

In China, both children and adults have been trying to exceed others in "life competition". For children, they are instructed by teachers to study extremely hard to get admitted into a top-tier school (like municipal junior school, provincial high school, university with the title of “985”, etc.) . Moreover, parents also play a role in pressing them to join extracurricular study classes, with nearly total ignorance of children's real interests.  For adults, when attempt to set foot on this dog-eat-dog society, they finally find it difficult to find a satisfactory job, especially in the background of the sluggish economy. A tiny minority of university graduates may get lucky, as they outweigh others in the fierce civil service examination or the interview of some lucrative companies after rounds of selection, and are eligible to get a relatively respectable job.  However, Most of the lower-middle class adults have to do with jobs which feature demanding long-time work and low salaries and no social insurance. Since restriction on age exists in many job descriptions, unemployed people over the age of 35 can hardly get a job at all. In a word, competition hangs over common Chinese during their life-span development.

The paradox between the shortage of social resources and the supply of excess incoming labor force, plus the dual social-welfare institution, are at least partially to blame.  As Rome was not built in a day, the external environment can only fuel the "life competition" rather than being the main reason for it. After several decades of economic reform, we have witnessed the emergence of the second-largest economic entity.  People become more pragmatic and put more stock in accumulating more assets, such as house properties.  Meanwhile, the social values have become one-sided and utilitarian.  The wage level, job position, social status, ownership of houses, quantity of deposits and that of their partners have been the perpetual topics of chatting between friends and colleagues.  The psychological antecedents may be a sense of scarcity and hidden anxiety, which arises from years of social conditioning and a lack of higher ideals. So we resort to accumulating physical and external things to make us feel more "safe". As a matter of fact, we are not safe at all.  The increasing depression and anxieties are torturing all walks of life. 

I found myself in a state of depression because of the gloomy and uncertain job prospects here in China recently.  For years, I chased a top-tier college degree and planned to climb the rather-limited and competitive social ladder step by step. When faced with the harsh social reality, I shrank back and asked myself: do I really want this kind of life? Trying to beat your counterparts just for the privilege of sitting at the office all day to finish the daily routine assignments which you don't even like to do?  The answer is no for me.  Many people have posed a question like "what is the meaning of life?", and I'm no exception.  Now I think I have figured it out mostly. Well, in absolute terms, life has no meaning at all, for we all have to die and lose everything we once owned instantly. But we can endow our lives with meaning, as long as we take ownership of our lives and quest for the things we really want to do. If we just follow the track of people who seem successful, we can pretend that everything is right in front of others, then have to face the test of inner aspirations when you go to bed alone at night.  

As Socrates says, The unexamined life is not worth living. Sometimes it's ok to take a break and slow down the pursuit of external things.  Just meditate and ask our "inner god": What is the mission of my life?  It can be as big as creating a company, or as small as enjoying every meal. Then go for it, despite the compromises we have to make in short terms.