3 Steps To Conquering The Fear of Travelling Alone

Question: There are things in my life I would like to do, such as travelling alone, but I cannot do it as I am afraid of the bad people I will encounter along the way. I want to explore new life in all the wonders of the world, but I can’t do it alone.

That is an honest and understandable feeling, and you are not alone in feeling this way either. In fact, a little bit of fear is actually a good thing because it keeps you aware and safe. However, I sense that the sheer thought of huge trips and long travel is overwhelming you, so you are retreating from the idea to avoid negative feelings about it.

I want to reassure you that it is all right to feel apprehension. In fact, almost everyone who travels alone for the first time experiences that kind of fear, nervousness, or anxiety because it takes some courage to even consider stepping outside your comfort zone! That fear is also your brain’s natural way of keeping you safe, but it shouldn’t be the final decision-maker because you can start with the three little steps I will suggest later.

The key point to remember is that the world has two sides to it: good and bad, and whichever one you focus upon, sadly, that’s the one you’re likely to experience. We CHOOSE what we think about, and it is our low self-esteem and low confidence that make us think of negative things all the time, when we could just as easily think about the good things, if we tried.

There are three things to note about your current fearful thinking:
1. Would you call yourself a ‘bad’ person? If you wouldn’t, then why do you think that everyone else is bad, and that you would mainly meet bad people? You said “I am afraid of the bad people I will encounter along the way,” which suggests that you expect it; that is bound to happen to you! But nothing is guaranteed in life. You might meet some bad ones, or you might not.

Furthermore, when you lump everyone together, without recognising that we are all individuals, good and bad, you actually include yourself, your family and your friends as well, among the very bad people you fear. Why? Because if everyone else thought like you, then you would be labelled ‘bad’ too. You should expect everyone to treat you well, to protect you and show you love, if you wish to be thought of positively. You cannot get respect from others if you give none, or expect the worst of them.

I have been travelling for over 40 years and have not had a single bad incident on my journeys, and I have been all over the world, mostly on my own. But then I don’t expect people to be cruel or nasty to me. I prefer to believe that everyone is lovely until they show me otherwise. I have not been disappointed, because we tend to get what we expect in life.

2. Everyone is different and unique. There isn’t a bad group and a good group in this world. We all have it in us to be evil one minute and good the next. What prevents us being evil is our need for love, affection and being wanted, so we prefer to be loving instead. There is crime everywhere, no matter which country you are in, but it happens to a tiny fraction of people compared to population sizes.

3. You get the life that you THINK about. Our thoughts make our existence. We are both writing on a machine invented by someone else purely through their thoughts. You are likely to be sitting on a chair that someone else thought about and created. Hence if you only think awful things every day of your life, you narrow your experiences dramatically to fear and anxiety, because you cannot get positives out of negatives.

So, while it is natural to wonder about what could happen on your journeys, try to focus on enjoying them, on the reasons why you wish to travel, on how you want to spend those trips, and make the most of fulfilling those goals. Stop the negativity from today. Face your excessive fears, which are mostly irrational, and remind yourself that whatever will be will be. You cannot stop your fate. Neither can you spend your life hiding from others because you fear being hurt.

Let me tell you about a little known statistic. In the UK, the second biggest cause of death for women over 50, is actually falling down the stairs!! It shows that you don’t even have to leave your home to be harmed or killed!

Next Steps

If you are really keen to travel, maybe you should start small to help reduce your fears. Tackle your fears by breaking down your travel ideas into manageable steps. For example, think about a weekend trip close to home, booking a guided tour, or an organised group activity in a new city. That way, you’re alone but still have a structured itinerary with people always around you. If not a weekend, how about trying a single night in a city not far from where you live, such as an hour or two away?

If that still seems daunting, take yourself out for dinner, a movie, or a day trip alone first. The main aim to start is to get comfortable being independent in public. Pick a place known for being safe, having great public transport, and where English (or your native language) is widely spoken, like London, Dublin, or Iceland. Taking it small and slowly should increase your sense of comfort and control.

Instead of thinking about any bad things, focus on the pride and confidence you will feel after successfully completing even just one solo day. That feeling is your true reward. Remember also that you are never truly alone. Modern travel makes it easy to stay connected with loved ones, and there are always other travellers and friendly locals who are eager to help you.

Don’t let the fear of the unknown block the joy of discovery. It’s scary, I admit, but please don’t let that fear stop you from experiencing something truly life-changing! Remember: Solo travel isn’t about being lonely; it’s about being free - free to change your mind, eat what you want, and go where you want, all on your own schedule. Believe me, that first successful day will feel like a massive personal win!

From your question, you already have the motivation to travel, so you’re halfway there. Just face your fears and live your life, expand your horizons, expect only good of the world, and you could have a most amazing time.