Would You Like A Side Of GUILT With That, Honey?
Holiday Etiquette
When families gather together
Lovely intentions abound,
But between all the hugs and the platters
Minefields and daggers are found.
SO...
Don't ask her if she's expecting,
Don't mention that he looks "well-fed"
Don't comment on their portion sizes
Don't ask if they're sharing a bed.
AND...
Don't say shit like "I'm being SO naughty!"
When all you're doing is having some pie.
And don't put back that serving of stuffing
if your auntie is rolling her eyes.
BUT...
If your family is giving you migraines,
Or pushing you over the edge
Just take that turkey and chuck it
Right over the evergreen hedge.
...
And if anyone starts talking politics,
Or serving you helpings of sad
Consider this poem permission
To just leave without feeling bad!
About the Creator
Donna Renee
Hi! Thanks for reading! My hobbies include making coffee, drinking coffee, and starting to write a story and then rage-deleting it when I get the slightest bit frustrated.
Work in Progress: WOWH, cozy mystery (paranormal elements)
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Comments (25)
When “ pass the turkey” means telling uncle Phil to shut the f*ck up! Lol. Sorry I’m so late to the party on this one. I just saw your profile shared by Rick in his article “Pique my interest” Great poem, Donna. And Happy New Year!
Donna I love this!! I'll take a second helping of this poem and the "bite me" attitude that comes with it!! Missing you on here, hope you are well and that you have a wonderful new year!!
Donna, love the flow and rhymes!!! Loved it!!!💕❤️❤️
I've seen so many posts about TG similar to this one... that I'm wondering why anyone celebrates it 😁
all is well
Brilliant! All I’ll say is that it is soooo relatable, and the injection of humour is a perfect antidote 😍
Omg - this is perfect, Donna! 🙌
Families are the worst sometimes...right. Some of mine don't even speak to me anymore, just cause i can't take the bullcrap. So much truth with a poem. So lovely. Still, I try to keep the peace.
I love the title, the rhyming, the wit, and the message! Nicely done.
Stuff like this makes me happy that my family is so dang “boring”
Good one!!! Very good!!! Sometimes you've just got to stand up and wave goodbye for your own sanity!!!
Preachhhhhh!!!! I've been a victim of this wayyyyy too many times. I've stopped going to any sort of gathering or celebration because of this. People just cannotttttt mind their own freaking business. So yea , for my peace of mind, I've isolated myself. I'm so sorry if this happened to you too 🥺
This is hilariously brilliant! 🤣 I love it… sadly this is often so true of family gatherings, especially at Christmas. … take that turkey and chuck it over the evergreen hedge!!🙃
This is awesome. I absolutely love the title but the poem definitely lived up to it. People acting like they're being incredibly unhealthy when they eat the tiniest bit of unhealthy food annoys me so much😂 so that line about the pie might have to be my favourite.
This Rocks Well done Donna
A poem to "Trump" them all. (Oops.) Hear! Hear! Loved this, Donna. Lyrical & helpful all at the same time. We need to put it to music & make it an instant Thanksgiving classic.
Atleast they feel comfortable with eachother to be so frank 😂😂😂 but yeah, sometimes people should just concentrate on the plate in front of them and leave others be 😂
Lovely poem to read. Appreciated!
Amen!
“Don't comment on their portion sizes Don't ask if they're sharing a bed.” In other words, mind your business! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love this poem so much! 🩵
Yes!!!! God, why do families do this shit to each other?
Dear D - Only at 'Family' gatherings oftentimes feeling the need to let you know you're putting on a few, "Do you think you really need that extra helping" advice....as if it's truly their duty to do so. - Special Memories - 'j'
You speak from experience?
Love this! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
So true