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Would You Like A Side Of GUILT With That, Honey?

Holiday Etiquette

By Donna ReneePublished 5 months ago 1 min read
Would You Like A Side Of GUILT With That, Honey?
Photo by Jennifer Uppendahl on Unsplash

When families gather together

Lovely intentions abound,

But between all the hugs and the platters

Minefields and daggers are found.


Don't ask her if she's expecting,

Don't mention that he looks "well-fed"

Don't comment on their portion sizes

Don't ask if they're sharing a bed.


Don't say shit like "I'm being SO naughty!"

When all you're doing is having some pie.

And don't put back that serving of stuffing

if your auntie is rolling her eyes.


If your family is giving you migraines,

Or pushing you over the edge

Just take that turkey and chuck it

Right over the evergreen hedge.


And if anyone starts talking politics,

Or serving you helpings of sad

Consider this poem permission

To just leave without feeling bad!

how tosocial commentaryHoliday

About the Creator

Donna Renee

Hi! Thanks for reading! My hobbies include making coffee, drinking coffee, and starting to write a story and then rage-deleting it when I get the slightest bit frustrated.

Work in Progress: WOWH, cozy mystery (paranormal elements)


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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (25)

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  • Lamar Wiggins2 months ago

    When “ pass the turkey” means telling uncle Phil to shut the f*ck up! Lol. Sorry I’m so late to the party on this one. I just saw your profile shared by Rick in his article “Pique my interest” Great poem, Donna. And Happy New Year!

  • Donna Fox (HKB)4 months ago

    Donna I love this!! I'll take a second helping of this poem and the "bite me" attitude that comes with it!! Missing you on here, hope you are well and that you have a wonderful new year!!

  • Babs Iverson5 months ago

    Donna, love the flow and rhymes!!! Loved it!!!💕❤️❤️

  • L.C. Schäfer5 months ago

    I've seen so many posts about TG similar to this one... that I'm wondering why anyone celebrates it 😁

  • Waseem Chem5 months ago

    all is well

  • Teresa Renton5 months ago

    Brilliant! All I’ll say is that it is soooo relatable, and the injection of humour is a perfect antidote 😍

  • Leslie Writes5 months ago

    Omg - this is perfect, Donna! 🙌

  • Novel Allen5 months ago

    Families are the worst sometimes...right. Some of mine don't even speak to me anymore, just cause i can't take the bullcrap. So much truth with a poem. So lovely. Still, I try to keep the peace.

  • Davina Z. McKee5 months ago

    I love the title, the rhyming, the wit, and the message! Nicely done.

  • Stuff like this makes me happy that my family is so dang “boring”

  • Good one!!! Very good!!! Sometimes you've just got to stand up and wave goodbye for your own sanity!!!

  • Preachhhhhh!!!! I've been a victim of this wayyyyy too many times. I've stopped going to any sort of gathering or celebration because of this. People just cannotttttt mind their own freaking business. So yea , for my peace of mind, I've isolated myself. I'm so sorry if this happened to you too 🥺

  • This is hilariously brilliant! 🤣 I love it… sadly this is often so true of family gatherings, especially at Christmas. … take that turkey and chuck it over the evergreen hedge!!🙃

  • Poppy 5 months ago

    This is awesome. I absolutely love the title but the poem definitely lived up to it. People acting like they're being incredibly unhealthy when they eat the tiniest bit of unhealthy food annoys me so much😂 so that line about the pie might have to be my favourite.

  • This Rocks Well done Donna

  • A poem to "Trump" them all. (Oops.) Hear! Hear! Loved this, Donna. Lyrical & helpful all at the same time. We need to put it to music & make it an instant Thanksgiving classic.

  • Mohammed Darasi5 months ago

    Atleast they feel comfortable with eachother to be so frank 😂😂😂 but yeah, sometimes people should just concentrate on the plate in front of them and leave others be 😂

  • Mackenzie Davis5 months ago


  • Real Poetic5 months ago

    “Don't comment on their portion sizes Don't ask if they're sharing a bed.” In other words, mind your business! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love this poem so much! 🩵

  • Cathy holmes5 months ago

    Yes!!!! God, why do families do this shit to each other?

  • Jay Kantor5 months ago

    Dear D - Only at 'Family' gatherings oftentimes feeling the need to let you know you're putting on a few, "Do you think you really need that extra helping" advice....as if it's truly their duty to do so. - Special Memories - 'j'

  • Hannah Moore5 months ago

    You speak from experience?

  • Dana Stewart5 months ago

    Love this! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

  • Mother Combs5 months ago

    So true

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