Work Event

work event

I saw you for the first time in 10 months recently at a work event,

it hit me so hard mentally I’m writing this to vent,

it was the first time seeing you pregnant and I swear you were glowing,

I knew I missed you but the amount I did was mind blowing,

you looked so happy and the vibe you gave everyone around you was wonderful,

I remember seeing you from across a few tables and thinking “Wow, she’s SO beautiful.”,

we shared one quick interaction where I made a dumb joke and didn’t say anything meaningful,

trying to hide my feelings and play it cool,

I purposely avoided you the rest of the time and I regret it extremely,

I should have at-least congratulated your pregnancy,

I was worried you would sense the love I still have for you is in tact,

and I didn’t want to bother you during such a huge milestone in your life with that,

I feel stupid for acting that way and I hope you didn’t think I don’t care about you anymore,

it’s truly the opposite that’s one thing in this world you can be sure,

I would do anything for you at the drop of a dime,

I’d drop anything to do any kind of task for you at any time,

during and after the event I suffered in silence,

as I pretended to socialize and be entertained by the work nonsense,

all I thought about was how I wish I could have sat down and talked to you,

see how you were doing and if there was anything I could do for you,

see what things you’ve been through in the past year and what you’ve learned,

for a moment together with you this whole time I’ve yearned,

and here I was missing out on my chance,

and only taking a loving glance,

you just have too much to worry about now than the feelings of a past coworker,

and there’s no way I would want you to feel bad for me or think I’m trying to create a tearjerker,

love is the easiest thing to fall into, especially with someone like you,

but it’s also the hardest thing to get over,

and again, especially if it’s someone like you,

this is something I’m going to have to muscle through no matter how hard,

and just wish you the best from afar,

the days after I couldn’t stop thinking about you and all the things I should have done different,

I wanted to offer you a black coffee with an ice cube from the Starbucks they had there,

I also thought about bringing you peach rings candy for your long drive back from there,

at the event they were having a raffle but you came late so didn’t get to put your name in the hat,

so during one of the breaks I wrote your name on a card and slipped it in before everyone came back,

unfortunately you didn’t win but I actually did,

I won a high end $5,000 mattress,

the second I won I thought about offering it to you as I thought it might help with your current pregnant condition,

but I knew it might come off too strong of an intention,

but I truthfully wouldn’t mean it in a bad way,

I just wanted you to be more comfortable when you lay,

I’m aware this whole thing seems like I overthink and am going crazy,

but I think it’s just the feelings exploding after seeing you lately,

I hope I get too see you soon and get to express how happy I am for you,

you deserve the world and I wish I could be the one to give it to you