toxic.
each inhale,
poisoned by the burning scent of
kindness,
joy and love
all gone to ash.
the charred remains
scattered and drifting,
covering me in a sooty veil,
tainting my soul,
corrupting my mind,
infecting everything
I touch.
outlines of hearts,
drawn with
skeletal hands,
trail through gray dust
tattooing my face
with scars and pain.
cracked lips,
no longer able to bend.
smiles long forgotten,
swept away in dirty clouds
of what ifs
and could've beens.
grime stuck between my teeth,
jammed under my nails,
coating my scalp,
scrubbing my tender flesh
raw with the grittiness of
the whys, the hows,
the whos and the whens,
the endless what fors.
.
but I still dream dreams.
(or maybe they're nightmares)
they come for me
with eyes wide open.
those ghosts and phantoms
of friendship and love,
of decency freely given.
I call to them,
begging for their secrets,
begging for that pinch of pain,
that shot of euphoria
I've been jonesing for,
that cold, cleansing fire
that only mercy can give.
I want to feel it pulse through my veins,
race toward my sluggish heart,
hold it in my lungs til they're bursting
with the promises trapped
inside.
but my pleas and prayers,
go unanswered,
whispered in corrupted syntax
tears dissolving the vowels,
til I'm mute,
leaving my incoherent form
lying prostrate and paralyzed,
waiting for relief.
.
I'm waiting still.
a blanket of toxic memories
binding me tight as I wish on
blackened stars
wondering if my fever dreams will ever
become reality.
I imagine what it will be like as that hit lands,
when the numbness begins to burn,
its icy tendrils weaving magic,
clearing away all the detritus
in one consuming, bitter blaze,
an acid wash for the soul.
all the bullshit,
the lies,
the selfishness,
the neglect–
gone.
only a barren wasteland left behind.
one that will be ready for planting again, in time.
to grow.
to become something new.
until then, I'll make angels in the ash,
and dream.
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
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Comments (16)
This is absolutely stunning and beautiful in so many ways. 💜🩶
So vivid and beautiful. I’m particularly partial to these lines: “I imagine what it will be like as that hit lands, when the numbness begins to burn, its icy tendrils weaving magic, clearing away all the detritus in one consuming, bitter blaze, an acid wash for the soul.” And: “only a barren wasteland left behind. one that will be ready for planting again, in time. to grow. to become something new.” Beautifully done.
Whoaaa! This was breathtaking! It was just so relatable. And it made me feel that it is okay if it's taking way too long to heal from something. That we should be kind and gentle to ourselves. This was just so beautiful!
'H' ~ You always find a way to "Pinch" me! Jay Kantor, 'Senior' Vocal Author
Achingly poignant as ever, Heather. I loved how you used "jonesing" to interrupt the sheer elegance of your words & phrasing, reminding us that isn't something simply other-worldly & ethereal but that the suffering & pain are deep & real.
I wish I could write elegant free form as majestic as this. My brain is too tired for me to formulate a decent half-assed comment. Apologies, Heather. May Your pleas and prayers all be answered.
Oh my, you are brilliant, my friend! This was so, SO gorgeous, vivid, and emotional. *sigh* you make me feel things I didn't know possible, all while being so relatable 🤗❤️
Heartbreaking, yet uplifting. great work, Heather!
Like literary stilleto , great words
Holy moly! That was really good! 💖
Oh, Empress. I love your wordsmithing brain and how it brilliantly directs these outstanding, poetic images into your fingers to wow us minions. Excuse me now, while I give my useless walnut a slap.
Expunging toxic poison, yet hopefully for change!!! Super superb & left some love!!!💖💖💕
Excellent imagery, loved it
Very good HH.
I could feel this overflow of emotions. Great poem!
Damn. Blistering, heart and all the guts on the keyboard, keypad, and screen. This was immensely sad, fraught, taut and bleak. It was also stunning, Heath. I applaud you. I shall return when this is Top Story. Until then, here be some donuts - 🍩🍩