The Way To Make An Ex Is This

The way to make an ex is this

Scream upon his ear with fear

All the things that you hold dear

Force upon him future wishes

Braced upon present misses

Pound and push your fleeting demand

Until he comes with reprimand

Keep this up for days on end

I promise you a finale grand.

His will be the following response

Walking quickly out of your house.

Inspiration For This Poem

As I reflect on the relationships throughout my life, I realized there are a lot of exes: ex-friends, ex-coworkers, ex-boyfriends, ex-husband and more. Thus came my idea of a collection of poems dedicated to e(X)s: Things crossed out along the way on my journey.

This poem is something that popped into my head to the cadence of Emily Dickinson’s “The Way I read a Letter's—this.”

I love Mark Chestnutt’s “That’s The Way You Make An Ex,” a superbly funny country version of how to lose a woman. So I wanted to create a female, non-country, witty, lacking wisdom response. The sum of Chestnutt’s advice comes in the chorus:

So listen to my words of no wisdom

There's no secret to my lack of success

Once she draws the line just cross it one time

That's the way you make an ex

If you want a good laugh about what a fed-up woman does when her man isn’t on the same page, take a listen…