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The Roommate

Challenge #2 Tag You're It!

By Mackenzie DavisPublished 11 months ago 1 min read
The Roommate
Photo by Kajetan Sumila on Unsplash

EEK! I got tagged!

If you don't know, Oneg and James have a new challenge out today, the Tag You're It! challenge. I foolishly replied to his brilliant micro fiction story and he got me. Here's how it works...

Pick a Vocal community and tag/nominate another writer to write a poem or 100-word micro fic about it BUT you only have 15 minutes to write!

I was tagged in the Proof Community.

            

             

The Roommate

            

Just the other day

A faint bell sounded

The memory of alcohol

and that it exists.

So many days without—

birthdays past and

parties too—the spirits’

burns do not entice me

though I know someone

for whom they do.

Late nights, I see this man

nowhere, surely holed up

with his bottles. A rat

in his own home, hidden,

as if that could make it

false. But I know the red

in his gaze, blank face,

slow instincts add paint

to a canvas that dangles

above the stairs, up where I

and his best friend live

a hole of our own,

silent in a silent house

forgetting the taste of

ghosts.

            

social commentarysad poetry

About the Creator

Mackenzie Davis

“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll

Find me elsewhere.

Copyright Mackenzie Davis.

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Comments (10)

  • Donna Fox (HKB)11 months ago

    Okay... way to show off a little! 😜 I can't believe you wrote this beautiful work in 15 minutes, did you even have time to edit it? Of course not, but you probably didn't need to either! I love the vivid imagery and the forlorn story it illustrates! Beautiful done Mackenzie!

  • Oh my gosh. Indeed, this is poignant and real.

  • J. S. Wade11 months ago

    Magnificent, pure raw feelings. Impressive anytime, but 15 minutes is beyond stellar work. I like your mind. 🥰

  • Cathy holmes11 months ago

    Wow. This is fantastic. You nailed it. I've been tagged twice so I know that Eek..

  • This was so poignant and very beautifully written! You nailed this challenge!

  • Nicely done, Mackenzie.

  • James U. Rizzi11 months ago

    I felt the despair and looming darkness in this one. Solid solid feeling throughout you’ve done brilliantly with your poem for this challenge so glad you participated

  • Mesh Toraskar11 months ago

    This is exquisite. Simply stunning. "A rat in his own home, hidden, as if that could make it false" Why do I know this is not about just the rat. Oof. Also the last two lines, surreal magic - up where I and his best friend live a hole of our own, silent in a silent house forgetting the taste of ghosts. Mackenzie, yet another jaw dropping poem. You really know how to pack a punch with these silly little things we call words.

  • Oneg In The Arctic11 months ago

    Oh wow. You definitely killed it with this one. The last two lines, just a gut punch of reality and melancholy.

  • Paul Stewart11 months ago

    Oh, there is so much sadness squeezed into such a short piece! Well done, Mackenzie!

Mackenzie DavisWritten by Mackenzie Davis

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