She Is Me

She began life as a fragile flower, delicate and beautiful, a precious gift. Shielded and protected fiercely with the untainted skin of innocence. Blessed with a spirit of joy and full expectation - fearlessly facing her triumphs and fear. Still untouched by the brutality that is life, she willingly bared her soul, simply for the joy it brought.

Carefree, charismatic and confidently she would stand shamelessly undeterred before the world. Draped in innocent confidence and wild eyed wonder was the dragon, the little girl inside me, as we started this journey.

She wore her feelings on the tips of her fingers generously exposing her true self, tenderly touching every surface of experience. Surrendering her heart with a welcoming smile, contently giving herself away. Compassion and joy filled her eyes as she stood on the edge of her universe captivated by its beauty. Challenge only ignited the super power within her, defeat held no place had no power, it became a mere stepping stone allowing her escape into the next adventure.

Little did she know what was in store for her and just how valuable and necessary this gift she held inside would become. This child warrior was being prepared, nurtured and armed for the fight of our life.

I remember the first time she felt the sting of loss. She was the tender age of 8 when the biting sensation of pain dug into her flesh, burning into her heart, leaving behind its mark, branded like a tattoo on her skin. Imprinting an image of her pain that would remain locked away as a reminder that her smile had weakened that day. It would be years before she would open that door again.

There were many years she hid away in the depths of the woman I became. On rare occasions I felt her softness trying to emurge from the protective caverns of my heart. The birth of my daughter’s and the delicate sweetness that comes with the love of a child began to tear away at the gates. However, life had conditioned me to put away the simple joys of what was. So, I barred the doors keeping her captive, safely locked away for our own protection. Little did I know just how much I needed her.

Through the loss of my family, as I had known it, I barricaded the doors, limiting access from the ones I refused to need.

Self destruction was imminent.

She began to whittle away at my pride, encouraging me to let myself want. I longed for closeness and healing and through the passing of my parents, she patiently reintroduced to me the super power I had witnessed as a child.

With careful attention to my fear, she began molding me from the inside out. Though I thought I was in control, I began to understand that the only thing I was succeeding in accomplishing was allowing the bitterness to consume the once tender spirit I had been born with. I have become acutely aware that I needed the gentle touch she perfected years ago.

I honor my journey, I have learned that every tear I cried, cleansed me from the poison of my fear and denial. My inner dragon led me through the fire, exfoliating the parts that were no longer beneficial to my growth, exposing the powerful phoenix within.

The dragon beside me

Lays claim to my heart

The child inside me

Heals my broken parts

She guides and protects me

From the pain of the past

Her power igniting

Love designed to last

Her scales shimmer with beauty

A powerful shield

In the line of duty

Refusing to yield

I can walk through the fire

With no fear of death

Equipped to to inspire

For she provides me, my breath