Pesky Bloody Thing

Unfortunately I have this vessel sitting inside my chest,

It’s alive and beats a rhythm to it’s own bass drum,

I pretend at times that I have it under my control,

But really, who am I kidding? It has me under its thumb!

💔

Some days it quietly goes about it’s business, as it should,

On others it hums away like it’s filled with butterflies,

Then there’s the days it races to a speed that’s terribly frightening,

And yet others when it does nothing but aches and cries.

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It’s filled to the brim with raw emotions that bleed,

And it really is a pesky bloody thing,

It beats a rat a tat tat when I wish it to be still,

And when I’m happy I swear I can hear it sing.

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It holds my most precious memories, good and bad,

Buried deep within the chambers in which they swim,

It aches with the pain I live with on a daily basis,

And it bleeds, in fact it haemorrhages, on a whim.

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When I’m at peace it cruises through the day as is its duty,

And I tend to forget that it even exists,

But when I’m emotionally distraught —

Well now, it suddenly kicks up a fuss and continually persists.

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When I fall in love, it takes things very seriously,

Filling until it swells with this beautiful emotion,

Doubling in size to contain it all,

And subsists within beating with devotion.

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It’s a beautiful feeling that it honours me with,

A state of bliss that is hijacked by a simple kiss,

Until that is, the love is destroyed and the pain begins,

Then it throws a tantrum with a rapid beat and a hiss.

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It’s at this time that it’s at its most destructive,

As it rises and swells to lodge in the back of my throat,

It aches, it burns, it pounds and it constantly bleeds,

And causes me to withdraw until I’m hidden and remote.

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Well, I’ve decided today that it’s no longer the one to rule the roost,

I’m taking charge once more — yes I know I’ve said this before,

But it’s currently out of control, a pesky bloody thing,

And the pain it causes me is destructive and I want it no more.

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So, I’m wrapping it in steel chains, bonded and tight,

Adding a deadlock, a steel bar, a bolt or two with a padlock, tightly locked,

There’ll be no admission from either friend or foe,

As I’m officially out of action and all feeling is now blocked.

💔

This vessel, my crazy bloody heart,

Will now live under my control — chained, shackled under lock and key,

Why you may ask? Because it runs on destruction and havoc,

So from this day forward it’s my prisoner and doesn’t deserve to be free.

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Originally published on Medium