Paint and Weave
Magnet Poetry - Reader's Choice
Author's Notes: I rediscovered my 1980's poetry magnets box and in it were two poems I find compelling. I recall having challenged myself to create two poems using the same set of words. These two poem are what spilled out.
Which one resonates more with you, version A or B?
Leave it in Comments. I'd love to know your thoughts!
Version A
Dismantle your animal thoughts
Dance with long tender silence
Give dark grief to rugged fire
Hold down my shadow
Flow wind and rain
Electric and shallow over our hot winter hearts
I want my friend
To join me under the surface
Hear me howl
Where I paint and weave
My spiral pattern
~*~
Version B
Dance and hold me, friend
Join our silence to tender thoughts
Paint and dismantle shallow surfaces
I hear rain,
Your long-rugged shadow,
Howl under me
Down where fire spirals
Hot with my dark grief --
Flow over my electric animal heart and
Give me the wind
I want to weave my winter pattern
__________________________
Copyright © 04/22/2024 by Christy Munson. All rights reserved.
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Comments (4)
I think I prefer version B more. However, I loved both of them!
I like B - it is poetry in motion, especially the last part.
Version B has a more solid flow and clear expression. It successfully conveys themes of connection, self-analysis, and evolution. The imagery is striking, and the flow of ideas goes naturally. Overall, Version B captures the heart of the message more concisely and plainly.
Nicely done !!!