Onions are Bullies and Mushroom are Covert Assassins

Why would I eat a veggie, that at first meet makes me cry?

An herbaceous bulb whose rancid odor smells like something died.

Why do you hurt me, nasty creature? Tears run down my face.

Are you just here to make me weak and put me in my place?

Your texture a strange combo of crunchy cuddling slime,

Who parented you, horrendous beast? I shall sue them for their crime.

I can’t walk in the kitchen. The pungent acid burns my eyes.

Just go away, you stinky beast, so I don’t have to hide.

*

I see you’ve brought your buddy, the infamous mushroom.

I feel his cringy eyes upon me from far across the room.

“Come over for a visit. Your heart, I’m sure I’ll win,”

Says the shit-grown vermin calling me with his evil little grin.

“Maybe I will get you high, perhaps I just might kill ya,

But what the heck! Just slice me up and toss me on your pizza.

If you survive your gruesome meal and still, you walk among us.

Don’t be so smug in your victory dance, for you just ate a fungus.”

*

I grab a slice of onion, and pop it in my mouth.

Followed by the fungus shroom, that sneaky little lout.

Oh no, what have I eaten? This can’t be right. I scream.

And suddenly am jolted from that nightmare of a dream.

As hubby lays beside me, his breath a deathly green,

I know that he’s the cause of my quite horrifying dream.

I shout his name and shake him, till he jumps to his feet.

“Get up, it’s time to go to work, and for Christ’s sake, brush your teeth!”

*****************

This little slice of madness stems from a prompt from Paul Steward and Donna Renee to write a piece about least favourite foods. I have included a link to the latest entry by Dana Crandell. His poem contains links to both Donna's and Paul's.