O u t lier

[inspiration] — of the several flings i had throughout my collegiate career, one stuck out among the others. it was 2014, sophomore year, and i enrolled in a dreadful statistics class (by obligation), math being one of my worst subjects. finals were coming up and i needed help badly, so i asked the only person in the room who looked like me (Black)—out of comfortability—for help. our studying led to the fling, to further interest. things never quite got off the ground, and as someone who always needs to know "why?," it's as if it became my mission to figure this person out.

i'd not quite attained all of the self-confidence and self-esteem i've since grown into, so i for sure endured some situations that were absolutely beneath my worth, but that's what mistakes are meant for—learning. there was a lot of back and forth, coming and going (no pun intended), around and around. though it went no further (hence, "fling"), i have no regrets whatsoever. the most profound takeaway i feel is that i probably would have made the same grade more or less without studying—it was just that, a single moment in time, so many odds and variables that just so happened to line up (or misalign) that brought us together (fate?) for that moment in time, to teach me something.

i learned a lot about myself through this person, contrary to truly getting to know them as i'd originally intended. and maybe, that was the point—for me, at least. i gratefully accept these circumstances just fine.