It trickles down the back of my lungs
Sometimes it gets jammed in my knee
This gaping-empty feeling yet blasting electrical charge of energy
I feel my senses become flooded and it’s both too hard and too easy to focus on everything all at once
I named it anger, then whispered -it’s grief
Tried to convince myself I’ll bloom life bigger (somehow)
Called it - closure in 5 seconds
Laughed because that’s ridiculous and only happens on tv
There was this one episode from this one show called - one day at a time
The Catholic Cuban grandmother came to accept her gay granddaughter in 5 seconds
Just like that
She said - how could she go against
And - who does she think she is
So - I’m okay with it
And I kept thinking how
This angry grief is just a dark room of unprocessed trauma with the door wide open
And I just want to close it
But it takes time, and questioning, self assessment, and acceptance
And I, have no idea if it takes religion or nationality to come to terms with all of that pain (but I have already rejected both)
But I know that it trickles down the back of my lungs and makes me choke on Arctic air
And I know that it gets jammed in my knee so that it clicks when I bend it to remind me it’s still there
And I know that every morning when I make myself sit up in bed out of so much pain
That
One day
At some point in time
It’ll just have to be damn okay
Because I don’t know if I could continue without that hope quite frankly
But, it’s a- good thing I got it though.
About the Creator
Oneg In The Arctic
A storyteller and poet of arctic adventures, good food, identity, mental health, and more.
Co-founder of Queer Vocal Voices
Some other rad writers to check out:
James ❄️ TheDaniWriter ❄️ Melissa
RiverJoy ❄️ J. Delaney-Howe ❄️
Water is Life ✊
Comments (8)
Healing takes time if its to be more than a band aid x Beautifully written 🤍
Loved it
Unresolved issues with families, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, etc. have a tendency to eat away at our very essence, degrading our souls. But the presence of hope continuing within you, may offer some measure of healing. Blessings, Oneg.
It is all damn-okay! I loved your poem; loved the reference to the TV grandma and 5 seconds, yeah, sure, huh.
Wow. Oneg this is excellent. I read it out loud and it is so powerful.
Perfect!!! Hope is a necessary element for survival!!!❤️❤️💕
🖤🖤
This line in my mind stands out : 'This angry grief is just a dark room of unprocessed trauma with the door wide open' An open and honest poem