Maybe It’s For The Best.

So I have

not taken,

my medication

for bipolar

since Friday.

Today it is

Tuesday.

.

I feel great,

just fine,

in fact.

.

I am a

functioning

human being.

.

I may have my ups and downs -

they aren’t gone,

yet I’m still around.

Alive and chirping.

Well and sound.

.

Maybe I

don't need

the medication

like everyone says.

.

It turns

me into

a zombie

who sleeps

all day and night.

I saw no light,

at the end of

the tunnel.

.

But now,

now I see

a light.

A fight

inside of me.

Don't you see

maybe this is better

for me.

- Erin 4th September 2018

Disclaimer NEVER COME OFF YOUR MEDICATION. This is a poem I wrote when I was conflicted like many people with Bipolar we can tend to want to come off our medication especially after just being diagnosed. This is because often and in my case you feel well things just feel muted. I think because the manic episodes are often but not always really good, you feel on top of the world and when you just feel more muted sometimes almost numbed by the medication you’re on. Everyone feels different but the medication I was first put on made me pass out and dulled everything down that I almost didn’t feel me. However I would not ever recommend coming off medication.

If you feel your medication isn’t working for you make an appointment with your mental health professional to discuss alternatives. Coming off medication can lead to major issues including relapses in manic/depressive episodes if like me you’re Bipolar. At the time I thought I was okay and this was good but it wasn’t I can say I am now medicated, happily & haven’t had a Bipolar mood shift/cycle/manic/depressive/mixed affective episode since January 2020.

Once you find the right medication for you it makes all the difference in the world. It does take time I went through almost every available medication that I could take it was the medication I’m on now or Lithium as a last ditch hope. I got put on this one and I’m so glad it worked. I was almost thinking I’d never find a medication that worked but I kept going and things have gotten so much better for me.

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