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Making a move

Sometimes the best moment is this one

By Joe O’ConnorPublished 4 months ago 1 min read
5
Making a move
Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash

As

Breath

Catches,

Daisy’s

Eyes

Finally

Glance

Haltingly

Into

Jake’s.

Kiss?

Leaning,

Makeout quickly.

No-one

Observes,

Patrons

Quabble.

Red-faced

Smiles.

Tingling

Underneath

Vibrations.

Would an

X-Ray show this?

Yearning but also

Zen.

love poems
5

About the Creator

Joe O’Connor

New Zealander living in London

Teacher of English and History, and sport-lover

Mostly short stories and poems📚

Feel free to be honest- one constructive comment beats a hundred generic ones

Currently writing James The Wonderer

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Comments (6)

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  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    Beautiful piece. Well done.

  • Rachel Deeming4 months ago

    Brief stolen encounter echoed in the form. Nice.

  • Mackenzie Davis4 months ago

    Ooh! Great take on the challenge! This one is so pure and lovely. The halting style says so much about uncertainty. You get that depth as well, despite so few words. 👏👏👏

  • L.C. Schäfer4 months ago

    Even trickier to do with so few words per line, but you smashed it!

  • Hannah Moore4 months ago

    I love how the halting style echoes that tentative, awkward, but maybe just right, feeling described.

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