Making a move
Sometimes the best moment is this one
By Joe O’ConnorPublished 4 months ago • 1 min read
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Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash
As
Breath
Catches,
Daisy’s
Eyes
Finally
Glance
Haltingly
Into
Jake’s.
Kiss?
Leaning,
Makeout quickly.
No-one
Observes,
Patrons
Quabble.
Red-faced
Smiles.
Tingling
Underneath
Vibrations.
Would an
X-Ray show this?
Yearning but also
Zen.
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About the Creator
Joe O’Connor
New Zealander living in London
Teacher of English and History, and sport-lover
Mostly short stories and poems📚
Feel free to be honest- one constructive comment beats a hundred generic ones
Currently writing James The Wonderer
Comments (6)
Beautiful piece. Well done.
a wonderful piece of writing.
Brief stolen encounter echoed in the form. Nice.
Ooh! Great take on the challenge! This one is so pure and lovely. The halting style says so much about uncertainty. You get that depth as well, despite so few words. 👏👏👏
Even trickier to do with so few words per line, but you smashed it!
I love how the halting style echoes that tentative, awkward, but maybe just right, feeling described.