A Breath Of Fresh Air

Why do they call it "falling in love" when it is something much more romantic than that?

I didn't fall into your arms, let go of my defenses, spill my vulnerabilities out from my heart and let you catch the pieces.

It isn't quite like that.

Maybe they call it falling because it is romanticized to trust someone so much.

To put your everything into someone, your whole body and soul.

It provides imagery of trust, of care,

But it also feels grotesque, and risky, and scary,

To fall.

I didn't think it was falling.

For me, it was being lifted,

Coming up for that first breath of fresh air.

My gut told me I had to move up, even though I didn't know I needed to breathe.

Pushing and pulling and squirming, just to get to you.

A fight I didn't know I was fighting.

I didn't know I was drowning.

All I'd known was water, but when I broke through the surface, I finally realized what I was missing,

What I really needed.

Falling in love with you was breathing you,

That first gasp once I'm above the waterline,

Only now feeling the ache in my chest that I didn't even notice before,

That ache that told me I wanted you,

That ache that told me I needed you,

That ache that wasn't just a feeling in my gut, but a necessity.

How close you were this whole time.

So, yes, I suppose I fell in love with you,

But it wasn't a fall or a drop or a break.

It was a lift, a push, a relief,

A breath

Of fresh air.

This poem was (believe it or not) inspired by one of Derek Shepherd's famous lines in Grey's Anatomy:

You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me.

Even though it has been a long time since I have watched Grey's (and honestly haven't watched all the way through it, but have been spoiled, and probably won't anytime soon, I still think about this little romantic line.

I wanted to write something a little more uplifting. I have noticed oftentimes when I sit down to write, all I want to write about is dark and mysterious and dangerous things, but oftentimes this puts me in a not-so-good headspace, and I think I need to find the calmer side of writing, too, and help create that balance!

Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this poem, please check out some of the other work on my profile!

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Thank you again! I appreciate all of you readers so much! <3