Kiss me, Kill me
it feels the same
hey self-esteem, my perpetual albatross,
(i'd say dear but we both know that isn't true)
-
when do you think i will be enough?
is there some kind of timeline or perhaps
a treatment plan you'd like to share?
because i feel as though you don't want me to succeed.
i try and try, yet nothing changes between us.
you tell me 'soon' and 'just a little longer, you have more growing to do' all the while donning me with trinkets, dressing up the lamb for slaughter.
-
it's time to let me go.
(i'm getting a little too comfortable
with the pain and the shame.)
-
the weight of all your tiny chains hang heavy,
little hooks clasped onto my skin, holding fast and
making me bleed,
that damn bird draped 'round my shoulders,
a constant reminder.
but you're so clever.
they're covered up with smoke and mirrors,
lies and smiles, looking like the finest jewelry.
i'm a gilded prisoner on display,
and no one knows.
(things are never quite what they seem
with you, are they?)
-
i'm curious though,
do you treat everyone this way?
with soft whispers and a dull knife
to the back.
i've no idea.
i think you must.
or maybe you save it all,
the slow seduction and misery only for me.
kiss me, kill me.
what will it be?
-
your constant pressure drags me down,
and those chains they rattle,
yet i'm an impossible contradiction.
it feels as if i'm floating,
aimlessly drifting,
coasting through life
trying not to look too hard at what i see in the mirror.
hear the words left unsaid.
feel the keen presence of a hole in my heart
where the shape of another used to fit.
so many holes.
(all my fault, you say. i'm not ready.)
-
there are some days though,
when you hold up the chains,
and carry my burden.
my spine straightens and my eyes clear
enough that i can see the vision–
what it would be like
to live in a world filled with self-confidence and worth.
where i think maybe i'm deserving of
someone's effort and energy,
maybe even friendship and love.
-
oh but what a fool i am.
each. and. every. time.
you really are quite cruel.
-
deep down,
i know what you're doing.
how those glimpses are little teases,
the sweet taste of acceptance and euphoria on my tongue
meant to string me along,
keep me addicted to you.
keep me from resisting what we both know is
the inevitable truth–
i'll be back at the bottom again in no time,
hugging those chains holding me in place,
unable to surface,
and glad for it.
-
forever yours,
gilded girl
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We'z Walking on a Path Ruled By Numbers
This road has felt endless, yet limited; every step tracked. Inching away along this path, I feel trapped. Confined. Left to this narrow passage that may one day amount to something greater. Time is not a concept. Only distance. From start to finish, I laugh and cry and attempt to convince myself that this is worth it. I cannot stray. I must keep going. Every step etched, is a step taken, is measured as more than before. I cannot even recall how I got here. Maybe I don’t even really exist. Just another tick marking off a perceived presence. Of what though? I am just another line drawn. Nothing more, nothing less.
By Oneg In The Arctic4 days ago in Fiction
Comments (45)
I think pretty much every reader will relate to this piece. It would make a great song!
You've named the beast that lurks. Uncloaked the monster within. Such a relatable topic for countless among us in silence with our demons. Congratulations for the Top Story but more for touching many souls!
I hope you know someone that can write the music to accompany this ballad- it sings out the pain. Amazing
The pain, the anguish “and those chains they rattle, yet i'm an impossible contradiction.” What a battle! The depth of your writing astounds me. Congrats ! 🥰
No idea if this poem was personal to you or not. What I DO know is this.. YOU KICK ASS Top Story Superhero!! 👊
Sesantional
Much said here my friend, with lots of self esteem, tres bon😀
fantastic poem
"my spine straightens and my eyes clear enough that i can see the vision– what it would be like to live in a world filled with self-confidence and worth." Soo relatable and brought tears to my eyes. 🥺❤️ This is beautifully written and speaks to me at the deepest part. You are so talented with words, my friend! Amazing job and congrats on a spectacular Top Story! 😍😍❤️
Great piece
where i think maybe i'm deserving of someone's effort and energy, maybe even friendship and love. oh but what a fool i am. each. and. every. time. I started sobbing when I reached this part. It hit me so hard. I'm going through a rough time now. Thank you for this poem my fear friend. Congratulations on your Top Story!
THIS: the weight of all your tiny chains hang heavy, little hooks clasped onto my skin, holding fast and making me bleed,
well done
There you go again, forming words that steal my breath away. My favorite line: "what it would be like to live in a world filled with self-confidence and worth." ❤️🩹 I think the fact you highlight this struggle so flawlessly makes this not only relatable but beautiful. You certainly have a gift with poetry, and I'm always looking forward to whatever you publish next <3.
Oh this is heartbreaking and cruel. Please know that whatever negative thing you think you are, you are really the opposite. Sending love ❤
Congratulations on Top Story!
Phenomenal writing! You've got it going on. Don't listen 2 the lies...
I love it! Well done 😁
Congratulations 🎉 💖😉
This is a phenomenal piece, on just how addictive love is. The way you ended it with 'gilded girl' is brilliant. Congratulations on Top Story! (p.s. I don't know how I missed this one)
Very relatable for me. truly one of my favorite poems I've read on here so far!
Congratulations on your Top Story , great words
Heather, this was so well done. I certainly related! I don’t know you in person, but through your words I know you- you add such a magnificent spark of light to this world. Thank you so much for writing this. As always, you wrote it perfectly and beautifully. Congrats on top story!!
Exceptional words spoken here!❤️ I am in awe of your writing. Congratulations on your top story too!
Congrats on Top Story for this one!! I absolutely relate to this, as I do with so much of what you write and share with us ❤❤