I Wrote a Song

I wrote a song,

But I won't release it

Because the lyrics don't rhyme.

Well,

The lyrics don't rhyme,

And the tune is unsteady,

And sometimes my voice cracks when I sing it,

And who else would want to sing a song

Whose lyrics don't rhyme

And whose tune is unsteady?

It was chilly outside when I wrote it,

So maybe the words came out cold.

Or my head was scattered,

And the words don't even make sense in the first place.

I wrote about someone I loved;

How I wish I could always be with them,

Though I don't even know if they love me at all.

I wrote about how I love to write;

How the only thing that comforts me

Are the empty words I put on a page.

I wrote about the beach that I sat at as I wrote;

How tears fell from my eyes

As each word came out,

How the breeze turned my tears cold

As they rolled down my cheeks,

And how the waves made me seasick.

I wrote about God;

How we have such a great relationship,

And yet every time one of us reaches out,

The other doesn't respond,

Like our messages are sending

But not delivering to the other

Or maybe we're answering them

Without hitting 'send'.

I wrote about my body,

And how I accept it,

Although every morning

I wake up and ask it to find another victim.

I wrote about my future;

How I can imagine it clearly—

My cheap first apartment with my husband,

With only a couple of rooms—

But it's not about the place, it's about the company—

And I wrote about how I couldn't imagine

These simple dreams coming true.

I wrote about my brain;

How I liked my brain because it was intelligent,

But that I resented it,

Because the smarter you are,

The more depressed you are.

I wrote about my friends,

And how I love them so much

But our friendship causes me so much pain,

Because I'm having trouble figuring out

Why they would want me.

Sometimes I think they're better off without me

And my songs.

I folded the paper with my song written on it

And I put it away

In my left pocket.

One day I'll have great grandchildren

And maybe they'll discover

A crumpled paper

With my song written on it.