Her old photographs
Sometimes the past is best left there
![](https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/d_642250b563292b35f27461a7.png,f_jpg,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_1024/618d8e4426b705001fb3dd6e.jpg)
Some days I look back at our photographs
From middle school
When we took that eighth grade trip
All of us gathered around the tree
Silly poses and linked arms
Grins from ear to ear
And then we found ourselves in high school
I remember prom
Finding dresses and doing make up
Straightening my hair to match yours
I tried to be like you
I looked up to you all those years
Yes I did hide the fact that
At that time I thought I was bi and I told
Someone else who I used to be close to
Because he understood what I was
About to go through and it was then
That first real crumble in our foundation
We graduated
You left for college and I was so proud
I knew you’d do all those things when
You put your mind to it
I would try to text often to encourage you
Praise you and tell you you were amazing
But
Things didn’t always go to plan
I won’t bore you with sad details
The past belongs there and besides
It still wouldn’t matter to this day
While you were going to school
I got pregnant young and married young
I moved in a different direction
And found myself struggling so hard
When I realized that depression was stronger
And had a tight hold on my throat
And that meant I never saw yours
I remember after having my son
Dazed and confused after finally waking up
I asked for you called you and you
Finally came
I remember panicking about where we’d go
Since the home we were in
Wasn’t safe and I panicked on what to do
You disappeared for nine months after that
Texts and phone calls went unanswered
Then one day you barely explained and
I thought things went back to normal
You were my best friend
And I know I made stupid choices back then
Decisions that I knew you didn’t agree with
We drifted away
I knew I didn’t come close to your standards
A country girl having babies and divorced
Depressed and decided school wasn’t
An option that would be for me
The last time I reached out
2016
It was a hard year for me
Mentally and physically I tore myself apart
And I made a mistake but
A choice was made and a line drawn in
The sand and I understand that hurt
I still ache over that mistake
I still think about those days
And wish you all the luck in the world
That you achieve your dreams and goals
That you reach the top of the world
And I’ll be down here cheering you on quietly
Understanding why my mama always
Had such an intense dislike towards you
She always said that you would break my heart
But even still
May your dreams come true
That your name is written in the stars
And that I forgive you and myself
Sometimes
Words should be left unspoken
So they don’t change our footing on mountains
And we don’t accidentally hurt someone
With a truth they’re never prepared with
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.