Déception in Bonds

Hmmm, there you are, once again,

Once again, you weave your bullshit for me,

Saying one thing and doing another,

I never knew punishment was a lifetime prescription.

I have done you no wrong, I have cared and supported,

Remained sincere in all our interactions,

Yet somehow, here I am again, entwined in your story.

When do people become shadows of themselves?

When does dishonesty start to seep in?

I see a pattern in your likes and in your wants,

Maybe it's because of two decades, maybe because this is the third time,

Only now, I think this time I choose to bury this story.

Yes, you're someone I wanted in my life,

However, I'm beginning to see that I'm useful for certain things,

Needed as a crutch to a broken foot,

Or as a hole you hide and never delve.

So I think it's time I shut this door and walk away,

As I have shed so many in this year alone,

As I gain clarity and healing, walking as life brings new challenges.

I won't deny how much you pushed and dropped in,

At just the right time, in just the right way,

I mean, it's as easy as a perfectly fitted bra.

I appreciate you as a gift and an unrivaled support,

And yet again you do what you do best,

Throw mud in my face when I least expect it,

Reason being two decades ago I made a mistake,

And I stand and smile, watching you do it,

Like the fool I am whenever it comes to you.

Now the lines are clear and the curtains drawn,

Thank you for the memories,

Gratitude for the stories.

Home no longer exists, and your words are just words,

Particularly when they carry no soul.

As always, I'm the safe space, the recovery shed,

And when you're well, the blood-stained bandages,

The soiled tissues, and wet shoulder remain mine to carry,

While others embrace your ever-present joy.

Ah well, so this year the scales fall off and I see so clearly,

My penance has been done, my time is done, I surrender and let go,

As I move on and walk on in understanding,

You are you, and I am me, home doesn't exist, no, it never did,

We have just always been except in the illusions of a song.

The lines are much clearer, and now I do understand,

I've buried and burnt that quiet candle.

We work as we work.

Forgive my naivety and thank you for clearing the confusion.

Business it is, for this is remain disinterested.

Adieu à tous mon cœur.