Dear Bub Luv Tips

Dear Bub Luv Tips,

Muh name is Hank an' me live by a bank, a camp park kin', an' me luv tuh sin'. Ah met this gal that yaks like a yank. She got real near so Ah got her a beer, when she bent down, Ah seen down her tank. ‘Last call’ was made, we rode fer muh home, blue man got us, we woke up in jail. Our date with thuh law an' me paid her bail. Two kids now, plus one more tuh come.

Ah need sum help, whut duz it mean? Is a life term real fair fer whut Ah'd seen? Don’t call me an ass, Ah luv this here ole gal, Ah just fear one day, her home town will call, an' me’ll be left tuh deal with it all.

Ah say soda, she says pop, an auto a cah, a pie is a meal, a jar is a jah. How do Ah tell her Ah want her tuh stay ? Bub, will yew help me with whut Ah kin say? her grin is alit, less a few tusk, her body a rose, a pot uh corn mush. Warm in our bed, we make luv all day. *spit* help me, Ah beg, Ah want her tuh stay. *spit* Lily, Tim, an' soon tuh come Lou. if'n she goes home, whut will Ah do? Ah’ll do much more, she’s due muh best. In two days tahm, Ah look tuh be wed.

Hank

Town of Two Egg