I’d Rather Eat Dirt Than Beets
Paul and Donna Yucky Food Challenge
Red, bloody beets have ruined all my plate
I’d rather eat dirt from Washington State
Where did they come from? Why are they here?
Did alíen’s leave them for torture and fear?
Did Zombies take dumps, sometime last year?
👽💩
A perfect food ? Right! Some fib and act cool.
I’m not swallowing this, I’m not a fool.
You stab them they bleed, That means they’re alive,
I want to know who, this conspiracy contrived.
🩸🩸
My white rice turned red, my biscuit is stained. They stink to high heaven, I’m going insane.
You want them? Have at them. But before you ask why.
Eat all you want, cause I’d rather die.
🪦
I know who you are, it’s dyed on your mouth.
It’s the fastest food to find it’s way south.
If eat them you must, know I’m a hater.
You zombie egg eaters and alien invaders.
🧟♀️🥚🧟♂️ 👽🥚👽
This is for the Paul and Donna yucky food challenge.
About the Creator
J. S. Wade
Since reading Tolkien in Middle school, I have been fascinated with creating, reading, and hearing art through story’s and music. I am a perpetual student of writing and life.
J. S. Wade owns all work contained here.
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Comments (20)
I read this and totally forgot to comment! I died laughing, and strongly share your sentiments! 😂 my grandma used to make us eat canned beets. 🤢 Such a good one, Scott!
Lol, easy there! 🤣 I won't say like a like beets but I don't hate them either. But I prefer it cooked than raw hahaha. Loved your poem!
Oh my! Scott - this is fabulous and while I love pickled beetroot...you make a stunning case for hating on beets! Also...beets kinda remind me of Dwight Shrute too! Great job and thank you for taking part in the madness that Donna and I created!
I do not like beets, I would not eat them on a plate, I would not eat them in a salad, no I would not eat beets!
But they're sugar--& good for you! They're like healthy candy. And I once drove a classmate from the lunch table just by having them on my plate. (I ate the spinach first, relishing every bite.)
Zombie dump! Lol, that’s hilarious 😂
That was funny, exactly how I feel I hate beets, both the taste and the preparation of them. I used to have a job were I had to peel of the skin. My skin was dyed .yuk
Ha ha!!! Aliens will always be associated with beets!!! Loved it!!!♥️♥️💕
This was great. i love beets....lots of iron in that dirt.
But dirt Scott... it's so gritty and grimy!!! I do like beets in a salad!!!
I have to agree!! 🤣 I've never gotten into beets! And they make a mess! 😅 Fun read!
LOL I feel personally attacked. 🤣 *covers red stained mouth*
Great poetry, I love the added comic strip 😂
Well done, Scott! I am all in with you on this one. My hatred runs deep. When I was 5 or 6, my grandmother carefully dished up some Thanksgiving dinner for me, then she slapped some nasty pickled beets on my plate. Purple mashed potatoes. Purple stuffing. Purple turkey. Purple dinner roll. Yuck! 🤮 I feigned an upset tummy to avoid eating my beet-spoiled dinner, but I was so hungry!
Man, everyone's tearin' down the good stuff. And now the zombies are angry. 🤣 This was really well done, Scott!
Lol this was fabulous. Loving the rhyme scheme, and I agree. Beats are yucky
😂… now that’s some extreme hate going on over there. It’s okay, I would never say the”B” word in front of you. The carton at the end was perfect. 😂
This is great. I actually like beets. I must be an alien. Lol
Oh nooooo!! It finally happened! One of my fav foods is being destroyed 🤣🤣. I’m still laughing though over the zombie dump comparison hahahah that was an epic takedown of my beloved beets! - adding this to the list! 🤣
I get you hate beets That you hate them, i trust For me: it's cilantro That I'd grind into the dust.