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these things

By Brenton FPublished 4 months ago β€’ 1 min read
Top Story - December 2023
Copyright Β© Edge City Production 1984

i want to crawl into myself

put my hands around my knees

i want to sit and rock and hide awhile

find a momentary peace

i want to be absorbed

into this very skin i’m in

parts of it thick like heavy armour

and parts of it so whisper thin

i want to walk into myself

fit in snug and straitjacket tight

slip away from the good and the bad

and away from the dark and the light

i want to be in with my parts

at a level subatomique

this is where the futures are made

to the hum of a soundless shriek

i want to be a vapour

ride the air to all my pores

this is my delusion

and here i'm free from physical laws

i want to slide between my layers

i want the


beyond my skin

that gap between the crack in the slack

straight to the centre of my within

social commentarysurreal poetry

About the Creator

Brenton F

It's just a token of my extreme - Frank Zappa

- - -

I have an eBook, a collection of my favourite pieces

Link to Amazon

Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (21)

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  • Tressa Rose4 months ago

    This was a great poem wow, new subscriber for sure!

  • Teresa Renton4 months ago

    Congratulations on TS! Beautiful poem. I love the way your words made me see this image of crawling into oneself. Skilfully done 😊

  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    This is fantastic. Congrats on the well deserved TS.

  • Grz Colm4 months ago

    This is wicked!! Tone, pace and rhyme are just perfect!! πŸ‘πŸ‘ What is that image - it’s cool! 😁 Anyway congrats on another top story B!

  • Mariann Carroll4 months ago

    Congratulations on Top Story, Well deserve πŸ‘πŸ½

  • Melissa Ingoldsby4 months ago

    This was viscerally exciting! Truly you have a unique mind

  • Kenny Penn4 months ago

    Wow!!! This is an excellent poem! Very powerful and the imagery is amazing, great job!

  • The Dani Writer4 months ago

    I WANT THAT TOOOOOOO!!! Just saying. πŸ˜‹ Excellent, and I do mean EXCELLENT poetry! You broke way past top story levels. Congratulations!

  • Poppy 4 months ago

    This is incredibly written. Simultaneously unique and relatable. Really well deserved top story!

  • Test4 months ago

    I enjoyed this immensely!

  • Phil Flannery4 months ago

    I have no words, but well done.

  • Chaia Levi4 months ago

    absolutely adore how the tenseness is conveyed through the line breaks, and the rhythm of your words reflect the real-time rhythm of unpleasant thoughts

  • K. Kocheryan4 months ago

    The flow was wonderful. Congrats

  • Congratulations!!!

  • Kendall Defoe 4 months ago

    Excellent! And I loved 'Repo Man' too!

  • Dana Crandell4 months ago

    Brilliantly written and highly relatable. Well done!

  • This was like so relatable and you've conveyed it so poetically!

  • Andrew C McDonald4 months ago

    Absolutely brilliant Brenton. We all feel that way from time to time when the world conspires to wreck our psyche. Crawl into a hole and pull a big rock in over us. Great job.

  • Hannah Moore4 months ago

    This is brilliant, well done.

  • Yes. The fliw was perfect and so playfully clever

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