You need a partner for the amazing woman you’ve become

You need a partner for the amazing woman you’ve become.

You have grown out of the “neediness” stage in life that occurs when you place a higher priority on someone else. That stage when you conform your lifestyle, hobbies, and become available at the drop of a dime to their schedule to win their affection. People sense that needy behavior a mile away! Nope! That time in your life is over, when you sacrificed who you are and kept your mouth shut because losing them felt like your life would end. Good Lord, why would you sell your soul like that anymore? Having someone else control your day, thoughts, and emotions by simply not choosing you – screw that! Choose your own damn self!

No one will ever see the value in you if you don’t value yourself. I hate to say this because it's over used, but people will not love you until you love yourself – it’s true!

Take care of yourself. The days of going out on drinking binges or needing alcohol courage to say how you feel or approach a person - is behind you. You are an intelligent, well-rounded individual. It took years to understand that your physical health is intertwined with your mental health - they are one in the same. Putting your health, nutrition, and fitness over a weeknight meeting at a bar, ending in you feeling lousy the next day and calling into work – no more! No more engaging with negative people and situations. Simply remove yourself from that environment because your inner peace is more important. Self-care is the highest priority instead of trying to impress others – you have profound dignity for the person you have become and strive to put your happiness first.

Somehow it just happened, you became a mature, functioning adult in this world that can communicate and express yourself honestly on an emotional level. It’s amazing looking back at your life and realizing the shit you put up with or settled for. You took sucker punches left and right and spent most of your life monkey branching from one bad experience to another, feeling like you deserved it. Hell no!

You are vulnerable in the right way, and that shows strength and power. You are authentic because you can express yourself in a way that says, this is who I am, faults and all, and you don’t have to like me. And if you don’t like me, who cares!

Before, your emotional well-being depended on worthiness – even when there was not a strong connection, and they treated you in a disrespectful way – you dug your teeth in more to hold on, having zero value or respect for yourself. You have grown leaps and bounds. You learned the hard way; you went to the school of hard knocks.

We all have shit behind our door, all of us, but accepting another person's emotionally manipulative behavior is entirely different. All of your previous relationships were mixed with manipulation, victim/rescuer, narcissism, and straight out abuse, but they are experiences that

you learned from. We all have flaws, but we can manage them. When you can see your own flaws and be accountable for it – that is strong.

Every relationship has problems – that is inevitable, you will have fights, and that nasty baggage will appear from time to time. It comes down to respect, honesty, and communication – two people choosing each other. You can be uncomfortable, even when it feels emotionally scary, because not addressing an issue is unacceptable. Having open and intimate conversations with someone where you can openly talk without blaming or shaming is probably one of the most difficult things to do – it takes integrity, empathy, and compassion. You can manage these emotions because over the years, you learned to love yourself and not settle.

You are the best version of you, bruises, and all – unapologetically, and without shame. You’ve weeded out all the people who do not lift you up. You will never be in a place of sacrificing your happiness or settling. You are happy independent of anyone else – it took a long time, many lonely, learning years.

You have a partner for the amazing woman you’ve become because you deserve it.