You Have Enemies?GOOD.

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."

Perhaps you persuaded a reluctant parent to allow you to go on a band trip to Disneyland. Maybe you saved a bunch of kids from being robbed at a convenience store. Did you take that grade-school math test and actually know what was going on? Would you rather be a cheerleader or a nun?

But remember, the challenge you're facing now, even in a friendly debate, is quite different than this week at the arcade. One of you could be right and still lose the debate.

Are you going to fight? If you like to talk, that's your choice. But if you want to fight, think carefully about whether your target is a girl or a guy. You might try convincing him to debate you on TV, but remember that most people tend to only defend themselves in situations they're in, so it could be risky to face off against a stronger opponent. Instead, save your attacks for debates or even internet forums.

Or maybe you had to go in to work early one morning to help your boss get a car out of a ditch. You know what? You're proud of that too.

I don't judge, and I don't explain. I don't judge you, and I don't explain. Because if I judge, that means I understand, and if I understand, then I am judging, and if I am judging, then I am judgmental, and if I am judgmental, I'm telling you what I think is right and what I think you are doing is wrong.

I believe you have plenty of other problems to worry about. In the end, I judge you on the right things to do. I judge you on judgment, but only judgment, not judgement in judgment.

Yeah, we can disagree. We can disagree about a lot of things, and we should. Sometimes we can disagree to a point of absolute disagreement.

If you feel strongly about raising taxes or not. If you feel passionately about something, have a conversation with your representative.

If you think our city council is wrong, then get up and tell them. Don't protest and make your opinions known in a way that diminishes the entire city and makes it look like you are telling other people what they should be thinking.

You have an opinion. But get off your soap box, or get off the floor and be a part of the debate.

Respect your opponents, but don't respect their opinions. But don't belittle them either.

That's a great way to tear your city apart.

We all have them…

Don’t worry. You’ll have time later to figure out who, and explain it all, and write a Pulitzer Prize winning essay, and share it with the world.

And if you have opinions and concerns about someone else’s ideas or judgment, instead of trying to shout them down… give some thought to how your opinion or judgment is useful.

Let others argue… explain, analyze, and judge.

And then evaluate your assumptions.

Exercise for the week: What did the speaker mean, and how can it be interpreted or explained better?

If there is no way to talk someone else out of his/her beliefs, or into changing your mind, there is no way to solve the disagreement.

So instead of trying to understand what they are saying and take that explanation and make it into your logic… move forward. Use your judgment to make good choices.

Examine the assumptions they are making, and find something useful.

Change your mind, or give up.