Tools That Help You Grow

Waking Up

I have noticed that it's the mornings when I feel like I am not ok with where I am in my life. My ego is the strongest when I wake up in the mornings trying to protect me from what my heart desires. As I wake up, I feel like I am at a standstill, waking up inside my room that's in my parents' home. I am feeling inspired by one of my mentors who never gave up on her manifestation toward her new apartment with her husband and kids. Honestly, watching her live her dream is part of what keeps me going now. She is married to a man who supports who she is as a person. He supports her dreams and the lifestyle she cares to experience.

My dream is to move into my own home, as a writer, mentor, student, and eventually be in my lasting loving relationship. There are mornings I wake up and I wish that my big dreams would happen for me overnight.

Though if things changed overnight, I could be missing out on the things that would have helped me grow as a person. It's not just about having the job, the education, the friendship, or a relationship with someone. It's about experiencing those "in between" moments in the midst of your challenges. Learning through your challenges and leveling up in your life is what helps you become more you. You can't just jump to your next big thing unless your intuition says that is your step. There are moments that give you messages to learn from. There are people that, unknowingly, give you messages you need to pay attention to.

During my mornings I'll slowly kick off my blankets and roll out of my bed to use the restroom then grab my cup of coffee in the kitchen. As I grab my coffee, I'll be wondering what life would feel like if I were actually experiencing life with the love of my life.

I'll picture grabbing coffee in the kitchen with him just I liked I used to in Michigan. Being with the man who supports me in who I am and what I enjoy doing with my life, just as I enjoy supporting my love.

Then I think to myself how proud and happy I am for myself. I made the choice to love myself, adore who I am becoming, and give myself all the desires that live in my heart. I am not alone, though I do enjoy the space of being alone right now. I enjoy having the experience of the universe supporting who I am. I feel so loved when I see the universe supporting my needs and desires.

EFT

After enjoying the taste of my hazelnut coffee in the morning I’ll do EFT tapping to experience the emotional push toward my dream. I know it may sound odd, but I actually enjoy pushing myself into the feelings of hurt and pain. Feeling such sensations helps me become aware of what I need to face during this new day I am fixing to venture on. As I do the tapping, I’ll pay attention to what I feel or what I think about as I speak through the EFT script while tapping.

For me this experience is to help me tap into the emotions that have been holding me back for so long and to help me become aware of what is going on with me on a deeper level. Tapping into this energy has helped encourage me to write. I was introduced to Vocal by a friend, mentor, and Vocal+ member. I thought that blogging would be difficult to enjoy but writing on Vocal has helped me enjoy blogging. I get the pleasure of writing, being seen for my writing, and getting paid by my readers and Vocal for my writing and being a part of the Vocal community.

Tapping has also helped me see that writing books is a big part of my life as well. I am realizing that I have a voice and that there are people who feel inspired by my voice. I’m used to feeling bad for who I am.

Being a dreamer doesn't last in the family I grew up with. This family does what they have to do to survive life even though life feels unfair.

When you are not feeling good about yourself you tend to attract people and things in your life that agree with that feeling because that is the emotional message you are sending to the universe. When you feel amazing about who you are and what you choose to do with your life, the universe responds to that emotion you are sending to the universe.

Tapping has helped me feel clear about one of my passions in my life. My voice is in my writing and for the first time in my life I actually care about how my work is showing up. I didn’t care at all about the other jobs I had. And the people I worked for and worked with didn’t care about me either. To them I was just another number, not a person. To them I was a slave because they were slaves to their job. I don’t see myself as a slave or a survivor. I used to be a survivor. Now I am living my life on purpose.

Appointed One Prayer

The Appointed One prayer is about me praying for the love of my life to merge into my life. I noticed that in the beginning I wouldn’t feel anything while saying the prayer, but I would set my intention to be present and visualize the words I say out loud. As I say the words out loud it's like I'm already there with the love of my life. After some time of saying the prayer every day I started to feel energy in my heart chakra. Now as I say the prayer, I feel energy flowing from my heart to my third eye and crown chakras. I have also noticed that spirit is telling me to step up my game because my baby fever is growing but I really need to take care of some things before I start that part of my journey.

Shadow Work

This is a moment of being aware and releasing anything and anyone who is not supportive of who I am.

I like to ask myself questions in my journal. I’ll add my own questions after re-answering some journal prompts from one of my mentor’s, Kayla Rowell. Participating in her Quantum Economics really changed my life. Doing the shadow work, the energy clearings, and gratitude exercise made me feel better and lighter and attracted people and things into my life that helped me become a better version of myself.

The questions I ask myself are really just thoughts that come up as I do answer the journal prompts. That's the idea of doing shadow work. Shadow work is about digging into your dark self, your inner child, that has been aching to come out and be heard and pai attention to.

During your shadow work you are to be really honest with yourself about the things that have bothered you, the belief that comes with this emotion that bothers you, and the root memory that comes with this emotion that has been bothering you.

Energy clearing

Doing the energy clearings have meant that after writing about the stuff that has bothered me… why the stuff has bothered me… where does the root memory come from that bother me so much… I get to set my intention to clear a belief that hasn’t been helping with my life and make way for a new belief in my life energetically. After doing this energy clearing my body will feel light. I will do something for myself to feel good about the work I just did. I tend to be mushy with love, so I enjoy a good tv show or movie or a song that talks about love. Or I will go for a walk in the park and feel thankful that mother nature has my back.

Doing these energy clearings opens the doorway for new beginnings.

My favorite mentor, Rachel Bimbo, finally reached out to me after being in Mexico for like a year. She is the only person who bothered to be honest with me. She told me what she sees in me and that she is so eternally thankful that I stepped into her office years ago when I was feeling unhappy with my life and working on feeling better from the marriage that was beginning to feel like nothing. After having worked with her I know where I’m supposed to be experiencing life and that I really am supposed to be helping people. After working with her I realize I'm not crazy when I think of my twin when waking up, off and on throughout the days, and before going to sleep. After working with her I realize that working in retail was just not for me. I am at the point in my life where I need to be doing more for myself and for others. My voice is supposed to be helping people understand themselves and their own lives.

My male friend surprised me last night by saying he is happy to be my friend without indulging in sex with me. He says he likes the way I think and wants to spend time with me, the person. I have missed talking with him. After explaining to him that my last experience with sex just makes me want to take a break from that kind of intimacy he understood. I cried after our conversation.

Why?

Because I haven’t been able to talk with anyone and I feel like I’m going through a lot. I left a job I’m used to having to get paid. As I do this healing work, I realize I can’t do the things I am used to doing because those things are not serving my soul. What I am working on doing now is acting on my own desires instead of acting on what people in my life have been telling me I should be doing.

I left my ex-boyfriend because he wasn’t emotionally supportive of me and made me feel guilty when he spent money on me or on us. He would not indulge in the emotional conversation topics with me. I started to feel like he would only act ok with something just to try to keep me in his life. He didn't want further conversation about why I wanted or didn't want something to happen. And the experience of having sex with him toward the end of our relationship was beginning to scare me. He was becoming rather selfish when it came to sex. It started to feel like the act of sex was for him and that's not how it should be in a relationship. It's just really not a good idea to be in a relationship with someone who is not for you.

The things he did was so that he could try to keep a nice, understanding, and patient woman with him. We were not in love. He is not happy with himself. I want more from my romantic lasting relationship.

I left my former best friend, whom I told everything to, because I stopped feeling like she was being supportive of who I am. There were moments I felt like she couldn't see beyond her own lifestyle to have more in her life. We don't feel the same way about receiving money in our lives. It's like she doesn't want to receive money by doing something she loves to do. She is not supportive of me being a twin flame. She just thinks that being a twin flame sucks. Being a twin flame is difficult but in a beautiful way. You feel like life is harder than it should be but it's so you can learn really tough lessons. If you’re not willing to learn those lessons and work on living a happier life, then you won’t be happy. You will continue to feel unsettled with yourself. Your soul speaks to you more than anything else does in your life. Life is better when I listen and act on the spot when your soul is speaking to you. Even if you feel crazy.

Gratitude exercise

The gratitude exercise has become my favorite tool so far. I think it's this tool that has helped me feel better about myself, my life, and my relationships instead of dreading the days and nights to experience.

After each sentence I say out loud about what I’m feeling thankful for, I will take the moment to close my eyes and visualize gold flowing in my heart chakra then flowing to the universe as I say thank you three times. I have noticed that after saying about twenty-five or so things I am feeling thankful for and why? My heart is filled with light and my aura is brightening up. As I walk around the house or outside, I feel thankful to be alive instead of asking the universe to do something to get me off this planet earth, because I am feeling better and thankful more and better comes to me.

Meditation

Meditation helps you feel stronger, solid with yourself, and centered with yourself and your life. After participating in your meditation, you have cleansed your chakras and aura. You have sealed your bubble so that you can feel protected by the people who don't actually care about you but care more about themselves.

Meditation also helps messages come into your life, so you know your next move to take.

Doing visualization in your meditations makes you feel so much better after your meditation. The more you grow from your meditations the clearer your intuition speaks to you and clearer you feel about the next steps in your life.