Stop Hurting Yourself

"Can you go there we want to talk privately." Spoken by one of my friend to me when I was in 5th grade, I nodded and stood at one corner, while they talked about whatever they wanted to talk.

But before diving in, let me tell you that the girl who spoke this was from our group. We were 4 of us and we used to be "Best friends", I think so. We always hang out together, sit together, joke around but I did'nt knew that they had hatred towards me, but why? we were just kids, kids who don't even know the feeling of hate? We were around 10-12 years old then. What could I do wrong when I was just 11? As time passed they made sure that I was not the part of the activities and just take part in it as 3 of them. Everyday I came home crying cause imagine making fun of a girl who has always been insecure since she gained her sense. I don't know about many of you but for me no matter how hard I try my self-esteem drops lower and lower whenever I feel like I am being ignored, call me anything but that's just how I am. These things were still not enough for me to stop being friends with them cause in the end they were my friends for me. When I was in 5 the Covid-19 came and we were all locked inside our house, those days were the days I loved because I didn't had to face anyone except my family members. I was very social back then but I was no longer that girl. As our school re-opened now we were a little grown up and had many people around us. The more people I met, the more I realise that we just can't match. They wanted to disrespect elders and do things which were considered as wrong doings even for the adults. I had always been a person who will beg you for staying and would keep saying sorry even though they didn't do anything wrong. Then my father said to me, "They don't want you, they don't need you. why are you doing this?" I didn't had any answer, obviously I craved acceptance but from that time I got my answer, we can't make someone stay forcefully, nor we can make them love us no matter how much we give in, in the end we are hurting ourselves that's all. We should always accept that we can't be accepted by everyone else, not everyone will match our vibe, not everyone would love our humor, not everyone will consider us as we expect them to consider us. It is bitter but we have to accept it or else we are only hurting ourselves that way. Have some standards, have some self-respect, don't go around trying to fit in everyone. Sometimes we should be ourselves and let people fit in.

Note:-) If you all think I learn this from just one time, NO. A big NO. I have been through it since like forever but a wise person was there for me and tried giving me some braincells. These toxic friends always make you question yourself but please don't question yourself cause of them They don't deserve you. I read somewhere that:

"Friends are either a blessing or curse, they will either make you love your life or make you hate it."

I felt it now. The right person for you will come to you no matter what, you just have to wait, it can either be your life partner or just your friends.

THANK YOU FOR READING :)